Split Second
by ggf83
Summary: It only takes a split second of hesitation to turn Edward's world upside down. He needs to find it in himself to both help Bella through her change, and forgive his brother for taking away her humanity. AU New Moon.
1. Attack

**Disclaimer: **If I owned anything relating to Twilight, I'd be a very wealthy girl. Alas, no - my maxed out credit card is evidence that I have nothing to do with it.

**A/N:** There's no other way to say this: I'm a review whore. I get very sad when the review count is in the single figures. And since this is my first Twilight fic, I am in desperate need of validation right now. Was that obvious enough for you?

**EPOV**

I couldn't help myself. There was a strand of hair fluttering in front of my love's eye. It must have been hindering her already terrible human eyesight. I carefully brushed it away, tucking it securely behind her ear. I breathed softly on her ear, causing goosebumps to form on her neck.

She took a deep breath, and I couldn't help but grin at her annoyed voice demanding the gift from Alice. I glared as Emmett took great pleasure in her discomfort_. Come on man. Lighten up. She's... amusing_. He smirked at me shortly before I diverted my attention back to Bella. She turned her face to me, rolling her eyes as Alice passed her the parcel. The last person in my family to open a birthday present was Emmett. He was typical Emmett, ripping into the paper like it was prey, not bothered with simple things like savouring the moment. Bella was nothing like that. She slowly slipped her forefinger under the join in the paper, her movements perfect. I ensured my hand was firmly on the small of her back, silently thanking her through my touch for humouring my family.

It all happened like slow motion. I swear I could hear the sound of the paper slicing through her finger. Almost instantly, the smell of her blood saturated the room, and I tensed. I didn't have time to notice her abashed apology at her clumsiness. I didn't have time to worry about the effect her spilt blood, even in such a small volume, would do for my self control. All my attention was focused on the tenor of Jasper's thoughts. The Jasper that we knew and loved was gone. His mind was filled with one thing, and one thing only -- bloodlust. The monster had been released, and it was already attacking.

"No!" I roared, and launched myself at him. He was too fast. Instead of hitting him head-on, I grabbed his shoulder, my jaw clamping down automatically. The little voice at the back of my mind instantly regretted the move, horrified that Bella had seen me in full vampire mode. The voice made me hesitate for a split second, and that was all it took. By the time I spit the chunk of flesh out, he had escaped my grasp. I turned to tackle him, and collided with Emmett, who was attempting the same thing. We each managed to grab a leg, but his teeth had already sunk into her beautiful, delicate neck. The momentum of his attack sent them both to the floor, her head hitting the table on the way down.

Bella's terrified scream echoed through the house, sending another wave of panic through me. Adrenaline surged, and between Carlisle, Emmett and myself, we managed to wrench him off her. Carlisle and Emmett tried valiantly to restrain my brother, allowing me to fall to my knees beside her. Jasper was being taken out of the house, and far into the forest, away from the scent of blood. Alice stood, torn, unable to decide whether to follow her husband, or stay and attend to her best friend. Rosalie and Esme clung to each other in the corner, trying not to breathe, and quavering at the situation. I didn't notice any of it, however. All my attention was on Bella. ... My Bella... My dead heart ached at the sight of her. Jaspers' frantic attack, and our violence to pull him off, had left her neck ripped open, gushing blood. I could see muscle, and part of her jawbone. It was horrifying.

Carlisle sprinted back through the door, yelling. "Alice, go help Jasper. Esme, Rosalie, I need towels, and my bag - quickly!" He knelt next to me, and looked at Bella's open wounds.

She was still screaming, and crying, and clutching at the air. I grasped one of her hands in mine. "Help her, please," I sobbed tearlessly.

_Oh God,_ Carlisle thought. _Surely she can't survive this._

"Don't say that," I growled. "You have to fix her." Bella gasped and writhed in front of me, her features screwed up in torture.

"Edward, I don't think I can." A growl erupted from my chest, and he tried to reason with me. "She's lost too much blood. It's too risky. The venom is our best chance of healing her."

"Noooo!" I gripped her hand harder, possibly too hard for her fragile skin.

I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder, and fought the urge to knock it away. "Edward, darling. It's the best way," Esme's soothing voice insisted.

Bella's voice weakened from the incessant screaming. "Edward," she choked, cringing against the pain, "I love you." Her eyelids fluttered closed, and her body thrashed violently.

I collapsed against her heaving chest, holding her tight, and listening to her fading heartbeat. It was weak. Carlisle was right - she HAD lost too much blood. The gravity of her injuries sunk in. I couldn't live without her, and without the venom, her chances of staying with me were minuscule. Without lifting my head, I let out a shuddering breath. "Let it happen," I conceded. In my periphery, I saw my parents exhale, relieved, and Carlisle nodded slowly.

I blocked everything out bar my love. Her scent was already changed infinitesimally by the addition of my brother's venom. Her underlying tone was still lilac and freesias, and the strawberry of her shampoo, but all I could focus on was the differences - the unmistakable tang of... vampire. I sighed, and gripped her tighter, holding her still as the pain ripped through her.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I love you. You are my whole world. I wish more than anything I could feel the pain instead of you." I dry sobbed. "I'm so sorry." I moaned as her weak heart missed a beat, stuttered, and then came back strong and even, strengthened by the venom that had now entered her heart. It was the beginning of the end for her humanity. I slowly sat up and looked around the room. Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett watched me with varying degrees of sympathy on their faces and in their minds. I could hear the thoughts of Jasper and Alice outside on the very edge of my range - Jasper's self-loathing, and Alice's love and concern.

_Has it made it to her heart_? Carlisle thought, his eyebrows raised. I stared at the floor, and nodded slowly. I could see my pained expression in each of their thoughts.

Carlisle approached us slowly. "Can I fix her up? Clean and bandage her wounds? It'll make it easier for all of us to be near her. Including you." I gazed longingly at her, caressing her perfect facial features with long strokes. My hand travelled slowly down to the gaping wound in her neck, shuddering when I touched blood. I nodded at him regretfully. Bella cried out as I dropped our contact, and moved to her other side to give Carlisle room to work. I settled myself quickly, this time caressing her right hand. She calmed slightly at my touch. I moved her hair away from her face, and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. Carlisle worked quickly, and had her bandaged within a few minutes. As he left to burn the bloodied cloths and swabs, he instructed me to take her upstairs.

"You can put her in our bedroom if you like," Esme offered. "She'll be more comfortable on a bed than on your couch."

I considered the options. I didn't want her to wake up in a strange place. I wanted her in my room, where things were familiar. My conflicted expression must have given my thoughts away.

My mother was instantly at my shoulder, rubbing Bella's arm with one hand, and wrapping the other around my shoulders. "Take her there for now," she suggested. "In the morning, the boys can go out and buy you a new bed." I looked at her gratefully before pulling Bella into my arms and carrying her up to my parents' room.

* * *

I curled up against her body, shirtless, trying to press as much of my body against hers as possible. I hoped that the coolness would help ease the burning she was enduring. It was one of the most painful things of my existence to watch, but it was nothing compared to the pain she must be suffering. She was being so brave. She was only screaming periodically, and whimpering and moaning the rest of the time. I compared this to Rosalie's change, who had screamed bloody murder for three days straight. Emmett had reminded me that when he was changing, the sound of Rosalie talking to him had eased the burning somewhat -- distracted him from the pain. I would do anything to make this easier for my Bella, so I would talk non-stop for the next three days if it would help her.

I sighed, stroked her cheek, and began. "Bella, love? Can you hear me?" She just groaned louder. "I guess you know what's happening. Jasper bit you. You know that. You felt that. I am so sorry I couldn't stop him in time. I don't know. I wish that this could have been fixed like after James. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, sweetheart. You don't deserve this. You deserve to have a normal happy life. To marry someone you can grow old with, to have children. To have your parents watch you graduate high school. Because of me, none of that will happen. If I had been selfless enough to leave you alone in the first place, you wouldn't be damned to this life."

I heard Rosalie outside the door. She cleared her throat. "You don't want to make her feel worse, do you? Tell her happy things. Tell her what it will be like when she wakes." Shock flooded me that Rosalie, who had never taken an interest in Bella, would be offering advice on how to ease her suffering. But, I had to admit, she was probably right. This wasn't a confession booth. I needed to tell her things that would make her happy.

"I will never leave you again, Bella. If you'll let me, I'll keep you in my arms for the rest of eternity. I can't wait for you to wake up, to no longer be in pain, and to be able to kiss you again. To kiss you like equals."

Rosalie started back down the stairs_. That's better_, she thought.


	2. Hiding

**A/N:** Thank you to everyone who gave me such lovely reviews on the last chapter. They make me happy. As always, I don't own it.

* * *

Alice and Carlisle entered the room, their nerves awry. I didn't move from my spot nestled against Bella. I doubt even if I wanted to, I'd be able to extract myself. It was like we were glued together.

Alice sat herself down on the bed next to us, and trailed a finger over her friend's arm. Carlisle hung back, running a hand over his face. I knew why they were here. It was written all over their thoughts. But I had no answers for them, so I said nothing, instead continuing to hum Bella's lullaby as I had been for the past twenty minutes now.

My father sighed heavily. "You know her father will be expecting her home any minute now. We need a plan - something that won't have humans searching our property."

Alice's voice was uncharacteristically low. She was suffering. Her best friend was in the worst pain imaginable, her brother was distraught at the thought of Bella losing her soul, and it was her husband who had caused these things. She was trying her best to be Switzerland, but it was eating her away inside. "We've thought of a few options," she told me. "Car jacking or kidnapping could work, if we made sure the scene was near her house, with no evidence pointing towards us. Or we could make it look like she drove off the bridge into the river, and her body was swept away by the current. Since we're upstream from town, they shouldn't have a reason to search here. The other option is to plant a note in her room, saying that now she was no longer a minor, she didn't have to stay in Forks, and the two of you had run off together to get married." I could see the scenarios each playing out in her mind, and each vision Alice had was upsetting, but managed to keep suspicion away from our family. "It's up to you."

The pictures embedded in my mind were of her parents faces when they found out their little girl was dead. I cringed, and kissed Bella's cheek gently. The best option had to be running away. They would still be devastated, but surely the pain would be lessened, knowing that Bella was out there somewhere, alive and well, and happy.

As my decision was made, Alice's eyes glazed over as the vision of our future played out. She nodded and smiled. "I'll forge a note and take it to her room now. I'll pack a bag of her things, so it looks like she planned this. Is there anything you want me to get?"

I thought about what Bella would want. "The sweats and t-shirt she slept in. They should be at the foot of her bed. Comfortable clothes - jeans and sweaters. The pile of her favorite books next to her bed. Uh... the photo album in her second desk drawer. The silver necklace her mother gave her from the top drawer of her dresser. And her toiletry bag. It would be suspicious without that."

Alice smiled and nodded, and made her way to the door.

"Oh! Alice! Also, for me... can you make sure you get her blue blouse?"

She nodded her affirmation, and was gone.

I rested my head on her chest, listening to her numbered heartbeats. My hands ran up and down her side, caressing her soft curves. By this time tomorrow, her muscles and skin would have hardened. She would never feel this way again. Her fragility and softness was one of the many things I loved about her, and it would soon be gone. I intended to memorize every inch of her body before it was changed.

Carlisle cleared his throat to get my attention. "I've brought some morphine for her," he offered. "I doubt it'll help much, but it's worth trying." I nodded my consent, and he injected the liquid into her burning veins. It was bittersweet knowing that in any other situation she would have refused the drugs, preferring the pain of being on fire to the prick of the needle.

"I know this is hard, son, but you have to remember that although the circumstances are terrible, this is what Bella ultimately wanted. She is a stubborn girl, and I believe she wouldn't give in until she could spend the rest of eternity with you." _It'll be even harder on her if you're not happy about her being one of us._

I nodded my comprehension. I tried to collect my thoughts. "I just... I wanted her to experience everything -- all the normal human things. Graduate high school, go to college, go to her senior prom... maybe even have children. She should have had more time. If this was what she really wanted, it should have been on our terms. Her last human thoughts should have been of love, not terror."

"That would have been much preferable," he agreed. "And you've got about 68 hours to accept the situation, and be ready to look after a newborn. She'll need you to love and understand her more than ever."

"I know. I promise you, by the time she wakes up, I'll be okay." I wasn't sure how much truth was in the statement, but I'd at least try.

Carlisle smiled at me. "You know, telling people the two of you have run away together might not be a complete lie. It would probably be a good idea to take her up to Denali, where there are fewer humans. We'll follow you once things have died down here." I glared at him for his insensitive phrasing. "I mean_, _calmed down. Sorry. I'll leave you two alone now." He took a final appraising glance at my love before turning to leave. He hesitated at the door. "Edward, can you do something for me? Talk to Jasper. He's suffering just as much as you are right now."

My fury at my so-called brother came back to the surface, enveloping my entire body, and I struggled to force out an answer. "No," I growled.

* * *

My family took turns visiting throughout the night. With one glaring exception. To my angry mind, he wasn't welcome here either.

A small hesitant knock was at the door. "Come in, Alice," I sighed. Even with her hiding her thoughts, I knew where this was going. I understood that as much as she loved me, and Bella, Jasper always came first.

She was reciting Voltaire in the original French in her head as she pulled herself to the middle of the bed, and snuggled into Bella, mirroring my position. We didn't speak, and the only sounds were Alice's recitations and the groans and occasional screams coming from the girl between us.

It was ten minutes later that I lost my patience. "Just say it," I growled.

"Edward," she started, "you must realize how much he's hurting."

"How much HE'S hurting?" I yelled, but quickly calmed myself, not wanting to upset Bella more than necessary. "How about how much I'm hurting? Huh?" I spat at her in a much quieter tone. "How about how much Bella is hurting? Not only is she having to burn alive, but she will wake up knowing her brother tried to kill her."

_Oh, Edward. I know. We can get through this. SHE can get through this. She's strong_. I glared at my sister. "She shouldn't have to get through it. She shouldn't have to suffer at all."

Alice gripped my hand tightly. "Yes. Jasper messed up. He'll be the first to admit it. But Edward... it could have been any of us. Every second she was around us, she was in danger, and she knew that. When she cut herself, we all reacted. Nobody wanted to hurt her, but you know how hard it is to resist your very nature. I love Bella, but even I had a second where I wanted to attack. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't gotten out of there when I did. Can you honestly say you didn't even feel a twinge of thirst? Seriously?"

I pulled my hand back in revulsion. "No! She is my life. I would never hurt her."

"Now," she amended. "What about that first day?"

"Shut up!" I knew I sounded childish. I just wanted Alice to stop talking. She was hitting too close to the mark. Each word she said stabbed at my dead heart. "She affected me more than any of you, and I forced myself to let her live, and now I'm stronger than ever around her. Not that it will matter anymore."

"Exactly," she snapped back at me. "Over time, you became stronger, more immune. Jasper hasn't had time to gain that immunity. He stayed away as much as possible, knowing he wasn't strong enough. Fresh blood - it was too much. I'm not excusing what he did, but are you really going to punish my husband for the rest of eternity for doing what you yourself wanted to do back then?"

"He SHOULD suffer. Like she's suffering," I growled obstinately.

She raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow at me. Voltaire was completely gone from her mind. She showed me the image of Jasper curled in a ball up in a tree, struggling with the emotion running through him, cringing. "That's from three miles away. That's just his own emotions. The guilt and anger is eating away at him. He can't stand what he's done to you."

"He should suffer," I repeated.

"Maybe," she shrugged. Her eyes glazed over in a vision, and I watched her mind. It was perfect. I knew it was sadistic, and I didn't care.

I nodded. "Get him back in here. Make him feel everything Bella is feeling," I instructed.

"Will you forgive him?"

"You tell me." I watched as she searched the future quickly. The visions flashed and changed quickly, but there was an underlying theme - I was at very least civil towards my brother. At the other end of the scale we were friends just as close as before.

She seemed satisfied. "Thank you, Edward," she chirped, kissing Bella's hot damp cheek quickly, and prancing out of the room. Her thoughts were victorious, and I shook my head frustrated. I hated that she was acting like I'd already forgiven him, when I was nowhere near it right now. I wasn't convinced by her visions. Jasper had ruined Bella's life. He had TAKEN her life. Why would I EVER forgive him? I couldn't see it.

Bella groaned loudly, and started thrashing violently, and my attention was returned to her welfare.

"It'll be okay, love. Jasper will be here soon. He might be able to help," I whispered into her ear.

If he didn't, I'd rip his head from his shoulders.


	3. Acceptance

**A/N: **Things I own: This laptop, A Hard Drive DVD Recorder, A cat who thinks the best game in the world is to knock all the books off my bookshelf. Things I don't own: the rights to Twilight.

_**Jasper**_

My hand gripped the tree, digging through the bark as if it were pudding. A roar of pain ripped out of my chest and I punched the thick branch in front of me, easily snapping it from the trunk. I watched bitterly as it plunged to the ground, bouncing off several other branches on its' descent.

I loved Alice more than I could ever imagine. In all my human years, and all through my time with Maria, I never thought I would be blessed like this. The most gorgeous creature on earth was mine. And how do I repay her unerring love? I try to kill her best friend. I deserve nothing less than to burn. Slowly and painfully. _God,_ _I'm starting to sound like Edward._

After Carlisle and Emmett had got me away, and the fury had subsided within me, I was left with self-loathing. Alice had been so good - so understanding. She didn't blame me once. Her emotions were erratic, but her love for me hadn't diminished one ounce. She had been hesitant to leave me alone here while she went to see how Bella was doing. And talk to Edward, I would hazard a guess, but she had conveniently left that part out. I know Edward didn't want to lay eyes on me, let alone talk to me.

You would think that my nomadic time would have made me perfectly content to be alone, but out here, far enough away to not feel the emotions coming from my family, I felt... desolate. Without the distraction of Alice chirping about how much better leggings were over nylons, intent on diverting my attention from what was going on in the house, the woods seemed horribly lifeless.

I smelled her approaching before I heard her. I breathed deeply, cleansing my system with her scent. It calmed me like nothing else could. She grinned as she came into view, and her emotions matched her face. Whatever she had said to Edward must have helped.

"So," she smirked. "Are you ready for your punishment?"

Images of previous times she had 'punished' me flitted through my mind in perfect technicolor, and a wave of lust swept over me. I forced it down quickly before she could pick up on it. "I don't really think now is the best time, darlin'."

She leaped up onto the branch I was balanced on, and settled next to me. "That's not what I meant." She took a playful swipe at my arm. "But maybe later. Right now you have a job to do. A couple of jobs, actually."

I looked at her questioningly, trying to work out what tasks my brother would want from me. Rip my own head off, and jump in a bonfire? That seemed to be the most likely.

Alice obviously guessed what I was thinking, because her bell-like laugh echoed through the trees. "No, baby. Firstly, you and Emmett are driving to Port Angeles, and buying the most comfortable bed you can find. I want you to lie on each option, and remember waking up as a newborn, feeling every speck of dust, and every imperfection in the ground. It is your responsibility to ensure she wakes on a bed that feels like a cloud. We want it to be delivered straight away. Not tomorrow. Not this afternoon. This morning. Before 10:43."

Inadvertently, a chuckle escaped me. I immediately cut it short, feeling horrible for laughing at a time like this. "Are you not coming shopping with us?" I raised an eyebrow at her. It was unheard of for my darling Alice to turn down a shopping trip.

Her mood changed, darkening. "I'm not leaving her," she announced. "Or Edward."

I nodded solemnly in comprehension. "What's my other job?" I sighed.

"Once you have supervised the delivery, and made the bed up with the purple and silver linen from the closet, you have been requested to spend the rest of the day in the room with Bella."

"He's an evil genius, our brother."

She pulled herself closer, so she was resting against my shoulder. "It's a good idea, Jazz. It's three-fold, in fact. Feeling her anguish will be a greater punishment than you could dole out on yourself. Also, you'll be able to help ease their pain somewhat. And lastly, it will go a long way towards getting Edward to forgive you."

She was right on all those counts. She always was. She knew that it would be agonizing for me, but she wouldn't let me do it if she had seen that I wouldn't be able to handle it. I watched as Alice extricated herself from my embrace, and jumped lightly to the ground. She turned and held her hand out to me, her eyes expectant. I hesitated slightly before joining her on the ground, and wrapping my arms around her waist loosely. My eyes closing without my permission, I found myself breathing her in once again, reveling in what was possibly my last moment of relaxation for the next several days. My pause didn't go unnoticed.

She looked directly into my pained face, and reached up to stroke my cheek. "You'll be okay. You _will_."

I nodded at her, forcing a small smile onto my face, and took her tiny hand in mine, ready to make the run back to the house.

The sky had brightened to reveal yet another cloudy Washington morning when the house came into view. Emmett was lounging casually against the Jeep, waiting for me. Like a tidal wave, the pain from upstairs hit me as I took one more step towards him, forcing me to my knees. It had been almost 70 years since I had last been around a transitioning newborn, and my picture perfect memory told me that this was worse. Not only did I have the terror and anguish that rocked Bella, but the heartbreak, guilt, pain, and anger that flowed from Edward hit me to the core. Alice was at my side, urging me to my feet and towards the Jeep. I sent out the strongest wave of calm I could manage under the circumstances as I stumbled to the passenger seat. As we pulled out of the driveway I saw my wife wave quickly at me before averting her eyes upstairs, where Bella had started screaming again.

* * *

**_Edward_**

Any minute now, my so-called brothers will be home. Carlisle has warned me to keep Bella as calm as possible while the delivery men are here. If she starts screaming again, I don't know what excuse we'll come up with. But I think we're safe. For fourteen hours now, she has been writhing in the worst pain imaginable. But for twenty minutes, she has been suffering in silence.

I have spent the last few hours trying to accept the fact that, even though these circumstances are far from ideal, my Bella DID want to become one of us. She made that more than clear at prom. Accepting this pains me almost as much as watching her tormented face. What I would not give for this to be the other way around - for me to be suffering this pain to become human again. That way we could still be together - like a normal teenage couple - and she wouldn't be losing her humanity before my very eyes. She doesn't deserve this. As I think of hunting with my family, and watching Alice and Rosalie kill, I can't imagine Bella - pure, sweet, Bella - being like that. To be ruled by instinct. To be a cold-blooded killer. It is like seeing someone in renaissance dress walking down the streets of New York City. Out of place. Alas, that is not to be. The die has been cast, so to speak, and no amount of regret, though I am full to the brim with it, is going to change what Jasper has done. What I myself have done by bringing her to a house full of vampires in the first place.

I hear my brothers' thoughts before I can hear the sound of the Jeep barreling down the road. Jasper is full of self-loathing, and fear of what he will encounter when he returns to the house. Emmett, in juxtaposition, is singing along to a silly boy band on the radio. Nothing else fills his head. I drown them out, intent on only one thing - soothing the girl laid in front of me. For now, she is quiet. My theory is that she has screamed herself hoarse, as she periodically opens her mouth, as if to say something, and nothing comes out. Eventually, though, like with the rest of her body, the venom will heal that, and she will be free to scream bloody murder for the rest of eternity unhindered, if that is what she wants.

"My love," I cooed. "I know that Rosalie said not to, but I need to tell you again how sorry I am. There are so many what-ifs. What if I had stayed away in Alaska? What if I had resisted your allure for longer, and continued to ignore you? What if... what if I had respected your wishes, and not let Alice throw you a birthday party? What if I had stopped Jasper before he got to you? Any of those seemingly insignificant things would result in you being home with your father right now - human." I pulled her thrashing body closer to me, restraining her. As she began to gain strength, I worried about her ruining Esme's silk comforter. Every shudder her body made, I could feel. Every stutter of her heart, I heard crystal clear. I could feel white hot flame running up and down her body, as if there were a tiny man under her skin, frantically searching for a way out. I followed the flame with my hand, hoping to alleviate some of the agony with my coolness.

A sharp knock sounded, as the door swung open, and Carlisle strode in. "May I check her wound?"

I nodded, and sat back against the headboard, pulling her to rest between my legs. Like an innate reaction, my mouth fell to her ear, and began humming her lullaby. I hadn't even made the decision consciously. I don't know what it is about that melody, but she stilled long enough for Carlisle to remove the bandages from her neck. Without faltering in my singing, I moved my head to assess the damage. The gaping hole from last night had reduced in size, and if I looked closely, and long enough, I could swear that I saw a tendon reattach itself. She was healing.

"The humans will be here soon. Will she be quiet enough?" he enquired.

I nodded slowly. "I believe she's lost her voice, the timing of which works well for us."

He absorbed the information quickly. "Once they're gone, Esme and I will need to go back into town."

I searched his mind for clues as to why they were so insistent on leaving. Then I saw it. I had been too focused on Bella to pick up on Alice's vision. It made perfect sense though. Of course Chief Swan would come to my parents for answers as to why his little girl had run off with their son. He would be demanding they find us and bring us home. Preferably prior to any nuptials being performed. So they would go to him instead of letting him come out to a house where his daughter was wrought with venom. It was yet another complication for my family to deal with. Cleaning up messes would be their norm for the next few days.

"Thank you, Carlisle."

He brushed off my appreciation with a nod of his head. "I've spoken to the Denalis also. They will be expecting you." _They understand your loss, and that you may need time away from here._ I nodded. Time away from Jasper, he meant, but it went unthought-of.

"Do we leave while she's still unconscious, and more manageable, or wait until she wakes?"

He shook his head. "No, Edward, you were correct before. It will be easier on her to wake somewhere familiar. She will be more comfortable here. But you should leave as soon as she had comprehended her circumstances, and eased her thirst." He paused, as if unsure whether to continue with his thought process. He was cleverly blocking me with an Index list from one of his medical textbooks. I cocked my head at him, curious.

"I have been formulating a theory," he began slowly. "I believe that Bella will be easier to control than most newborns, because she won't be exploding with the confusion and fear of what she has become. She already knows most of what is happening to her, and what our life pertains. She is prepared, as much as she could be. She will awaken knowing what is expected of her, with regards to being vegetarian, and staying away from her old life, and humans in general. She knows the dangers." His mind ran over his own early days. Carlisle had studied the vampires for several years before being bitten, so he knew vaguely what was happening to him. Could it be that knowledge that enabled him to control his bloodlust long enough to escape the bustling city, and spare the unsuspecting humans? It was a feat that I had not before dwelled on.

"I hope you're right," I smiled. It was forced, and small, but it was still a smile. My first since all this had begun.


	4. Parenthood

**A/N:** Here it is... due to popular demand (that's my story and I'm sticking with it) .... Chapter Four! As usual, I don't own. But I'm putting it on my Christmas Wishlist. Oh, and pleeeeasssee... when you finish - REVIEW! My poor little self-esteem needs a boost right now. Thanks muchly.

_**Carlisle **_

I was extremely proud of us. My wife and I had faced the hardest day our family had encountered, and we had come through it together. Our first success was ignoring the complete chaos surrounding us in the second after Jasper attacked, and keeping an already terrible situation from becoming even worse. I had no doubt that if Bella had died, Edward would have found some way to end his own existence. In our twisted way, this was a good outcome. As unwanted as this situation was, it far outweighed the prospect of losing both Bella and Edward. The children had all been suffering to various degrees. Even Rosalie was upset, as much as she refused to admit it. She claimed that she was annoyed at having to deal with another newborn, and being forced to up and move again, when we had just managed to really feel at home.

In my 80-odd years in this pseudo-parental role, I had often struggled with what it truly meant to be a successful father. In recent years, I had come to believe that the most important aspect of this role is the ability to cope with what God sends your way with strength, leadership and dignity, and to hopefully come out the other end with a stronger family. I hoped that this would be the case at the end of this tragedy. I could already see the light, although we still had far to go.

The next step of our journey lay fifty yards up the road from where I had parked my car. I glanced once again at the digital display on the dash. 10:20. In exactly two minutes, Charlie would stop by Bella's bedroom to wake her. Already, he would have a gut feeling that something was amiss - she never slept this late. He would wrack his brain trying to remember if he heard her come in the previous night. Alice had already informed us, however, that he fell into a deep sleep well before 11pm. It is then that he would find the note telling him about the alleged elopement. That was our cue. We needed to arrive at the Swan house after he had read the note, but before his rage built, and he flew out of the house, driving the cruiser to our house. If we did that, he would not only stay away from our home, but would begin to grieve instead of bottling the emotion behind the outward rage.

I reached over the console, and squeezed Esme's hand. "Are you ready, sweetheart?"

She nodded, staring through the windshield as if in another world. "He thought he had another year with her, and now he's lost her. He just..." Her voice trailed off.

"I know." 10:21. "I worry that if we are both talking, it will seem like we are ganging up on him. Let me do the talking. You play the distraught mother."

She turned fully to face me. "That will not be a problem. I already think of Bella as my own child. Distraught... fairly sums me up right now."

Her expression was heartbreaking. She had been doing such a good job of helping keep the children together, she had hidden her own feelings. "Oh, honey..." I cooed.

She brushed me off, and rummaged in her purse. "We can mourn later. Right now, we have a job to do." From her purse, she pulled a white linen handkerchief. In an instant, she had opened the car door, bent out, and dipped it quickly in a puddle. I looked at her curiously. "Well... it's not going to become stained with my own tears, is it?" she chuckled.

I shook my head in disbelief. Brilliant. My wife was brilliant.

She clutched her prop in hand as the clock flipped over to 10:22. I put the car into gear, and drove the short distance to the Swan house. As quickly as humanly possible, I was around the car to open the passenger door and assist Esme from the car. It amazed me that after eighty years together, and with all the chaos that was going on around us, I still felt the same spark that had accosted me the first time we met. When she was still an innocent human. Even now, in this most dire of circumstances, my hand on her elbow as I guided her upright, I felt a surge of electricity that burned in the most pleasant way possible. I had to force my mind from this inappropriate train of thought, and concentrate on the task at hand. Bella. Bella's father. Convincing Bella's father that we were just as oblivious to the 'elopement' as he was.

We knew he would be watching us, so our performance began. Not much of a stretch for Esme. She huddled in my embrace as we approached the house, sobbing into her already wet handkerchief.

The door creaked open as we ascended to the small porch. "We have a problem," Charlie grumbled.

I nodded forlornly. "I believe we do. May we?" I gestured towards the door, and Charlie begrudgingly stepped out of the way, admitting us to his home.

We seated ourselves on the couch, Esme still clinging to me, and Charlie sat in the recliner, stock straight. "What the hell is going on?" he demanded.

The lie rolled off my tongue eloquently. "I'm not entirely sure. We woke this morning to find Edward gone, and a note simply saying they'd gone to get married, and not to expect them back. I was hoping that Bella might have said something to you, that you could shed some more light on the situation."

"Unlikely," he scoffed. "I only found this note a minute ago." He waved the piece of paper around angrily. The paper bore Alice's scent, but Charlie wouldn't be able to smell that. "What the hell kind of brainwashing has your no-good son been doing to make my little girl do something as stupid as this?"

Esme played her part beautifully. At Charlie's damnation of Edward, she glared at him with just the perfect amount of malice. "Don't you say anything like that about my boy," she threatened, and resumed her place sobbing into my shoulder.

"That was unnecessary," I agreed. "I can't see this as being all Edward's idea. That girl has him wrapped around her finger. He would never pressure her into anything."

A scowl crossed Charlie's face at the thought of what an eighteen-year-old boy would likely be pressing for in his relationship.

I met his gaze steadily. "Anything," I repeated. "They're young, impetuous, and in love. You know what that's like."

Pain and regret flooded his features. He certainly DID know what that was like. He had also married as a teenager, but nobody had ever thought that this would be the thing Bella inherited from her parents. I had to remind myself quickly that it was all a lie - she hadn't followed in their footsteps at all. Instead, she was in my own home, suffering the pain of what I presume hellfire would feel like. Fire and brimstone, and all the evils my father had long ago warned of. A sobering thought if nothing else. Poor girl.

"We need to do something. Anything to find them, and bring them home." His eyes were frantic as he thought more about Bella being gone, than blaming Edward.

I thought carefully. I needed to ensure that he didn't try to use all his law-enforcement influence to find them. When he came to nothing but a dead end, he would become suspicious of us. "Well," I began slowly, "I could cancel his credit card. But he still has the inheritance from his birth parents, so I'm not sure how much difference it will make."

"I could..."

I quickly cut of his musing. "Charlie, I know you just want to get Bella back, but I'm not certain it will work. We could spend all our time chasing them round the country, but the truth of the matter is that they are adults. Even if we found them, we can't just drag them home kicking and screaming."

The dark in Charlie's eyes grew. "I suppose..."

"I can only hope that having time away will make them realise how much they are missing, and they will come home to us."

"I never thought Bella would do something like this," Charlie sighed. "This is more something her mother would do. But Bella.... she's always been so... sensible."

"I know exactly how you feel. I didn't think my son would ever do this." I thought over the double-meaning of my words. Even in the darkest times, I had faith in my children - all my children. I had truly felt that Jasper was controlled enough to handle being around Bella. Had I been remiss in my paternal role by failing to notice the slight tensions in his demeanor? Could I have prevented this turn of events?

Esme was my rock. She could sense my change in moods much better than those horrendous dime store rings. She tensed at the guilt dripping off me like a broken faucet. "Don't you dare start blaming yourself," she hissed softly so Charlie wouldn't overhear.

I squeezed her shoulder comfortingly. "I'm sorry, dear. Only it's hard to not wonder if there is anything I could have done to prevent it."

"We'll discuss this later." Her voice was firm. I had a feeling I was soon to be severely chastised.

Charlie's head was down, cradled loosely in his hands. I could not recall seeing him look so lost before. "Dr Cullen?" His voice was becoming weaker, and his pulse was erratic.

"Yes?" I considered kneeling before him, but decided he wouldn't feel comfortable being so close to me. His natural reaction, after all, was to shy away from our kind.

"Promise me something?"

"Of course." I could smell saline - tears running swiftly down his cheeks. It had taken the duration of our visit, but the loss of his daughter was beginning to hit him. My dead heart ached for this man. Our family wasn't losing anything. He was losing everything. That girl was his whole world.

"Let me know if you hear from either of them. If they need help, I want to be there. Anything. If she calls... tell her... tell her I love her."

"Naturally. And you..?" I felt the need to make him feel like he had just as much chance of hearing from them as we did.

He looked up at me, his eyes red-rimmed and shiny.

"... Tell them to come home. We want them home, regardless of any guilt they may feel."

Charlie nodded silently.

It was time to leave him to his grief. "Esme, dear? We should leave Chief Swan now." She nodded gently, and rose alongside me. I shook my counterpart's hand, and turned to leave, but my wife held me back.

She approached him, and grasped his sleeve, careful not to touch his skin. "If you need anything, please don't hesitate to call us." She deftly pulled a card from her breast pocket, and pushed it to his palm. From my position across the room, I could see our cellphone numbers written in her perfect script. I don't say it often enough. My wife is a goddess. She never stops caring for those around her. Even in her own time of need. I sighed inwardly. It never ceases to amaze me how lucky I am. I pull her back into my embrace as we say our goodbyes to Bella's father, and make our way back to the car. Back to the pain that awaits us in our home. But with this woman by my side, anything is sustainable.


	5. Pain

**A/N: **I don't own. Stephenie Meyer holds that honour. To all my reviewers - you guys rock my socks!

_**Edward**_

Even without my gift, I would have known exactly how their conversation was progressing. I could hear Alice whispering frantically to Jasper, convincing him that it was safe to enter my room, where Bella had recently been repositioned. I scoffed at the idea that a fearless Civil War officer was cowering at the thought of facing me. I had no intention of leaving the bed to attack him, and regardless, he is a much better fighter than I will ever be.

"I'll be with you the whole time," Alice hissed at her husband. "I can protect you."

"Of course you can," he replied, with just a hint of mocking. I watched through Jasper's mind as Alice scowled as ferociously as she knew how. To an outsider, she would have looked like a tiny kitten attempting to be a lion - not the deadly creature she truly was. Jasper laughed off her fierce protectiveness, and Alice took the lighter moment as opportunity to guide him down the hallway.

She entered first, a pointed look on her face. _Don't be too hard on him, okay?_ I raised an eyebrow at her. She wanted ME to go easy on HIM? She was deluded if she thought he was the one who needed comforting here.

Jasper snuck into the room, keeping as close to the wall as he could - as far from Bella as possible. He sunk to the floor in the corner, a pained expression clouding his face. He instantly sent a wave of calm over both of us. "She's not as bad as I expected. The fear and confusion is not as strong as I've felt with others who have been turned. And there's something else there..." He concentrated harder.

I was surprised when he deciphered the emotion. _Resignation_. "What is that?" I asked. "She's resigned to the pain? You know - how it seems like it's going to last forever? Or that she knows what's happening, and she's resigned to being a vampire."

"I can't tell. It's so deeply masked by the pain."

"Fat lot of help you are," I grumbled, and hid my face in her hair.

"Edward...." Alice warned, her voice low and threatening. I tried valiantly to block her out, but the screaming in her mind was hard to ignore. _Some civility would be nice, Edward. If you continue the death glares, I'm taking him right out of here again._

"Whatever, Alice. I'm not even looking in his direction, so enough with the dramatics."

Two loud scoffs were heard - one coming from Alice, and one from Emmett in the next room. "Yes," she growled. "Because the person being over-dramatic in this room is ME."

She was angry with me, and I didn't care whatsoever, but her placement in the middle of the room betrayed her split loyalty - not to me, but to Bella. Her eyes flitted quickly between her husband and her friend as her mind flashed with images of the two of them.

Jasper must have sensed her indecision, because he attempted to smile at her, although it came out as more of a grimace. "It's okay. I'm... fine. You should be with her," he told her, unconvincingly. With a grateful grin, Alice settled herself back on the bed with Bella and I, while Jasper's head slumped into his hands, a look of extreme pain on his face.

"How has she been?"

I considered this carefully. It was hard to give an objective opinion when my heart was being ripped apart in front of me. "She's... Bella. She's completely selfless. If, like we believe, she has some idea of what is going on, I believe she would fight through the pain so as to not upset me. You know what she's like."

Alice nodded slowly, and picked up Bella's hand in her own. "That does sound like her." She stroked the tiny, breakable fingers, which wouldn't be so breakable for long. The pale pink polish adorning her nails still shimmered in the weak sunlight from yesterday's episode of Bella Barbie. Was it really only yesterday? It seemed like this had been going on for weeks, but no - not even a day had passed. How would I endure another two and a half days of this torture? The dramatics which Alice proclaimed were surrounding me came to the fore once again, telling me that it was just as bad as going through the change again myself. Unfortunately, I knew that was not true. What Bella was feeling right now was at least ten times worse than what was coursing through my body. She was learning first hand what it was like in the witch trials - to be burnt alive. But Bella's pain wouldn't be over after ten minutes, blessed with the peace of death. Her burning would last several days. It was enough to drive someone to insanity. I was suddenly glad for Jasper's presence, knowing he would keep her from that brink.

I raised my head to catch his eye. "Thanks," I murmured.

Jasper's concentration broke for a second to respond to me_. It's the least I can do. If there is anything else... _He trailed off. I nodded my comprehension, but there wasn't anything else. This was the best way he could attempt to help. If he can ease my love's pain even one iota, he will have gone some way to atoning for his sins. Looking down at Bella, and gently touching the bandages holding her wound closed, I didn't want to forgive him. I couldn't. He had tried to kill her.

As my anger built, Jasper attempted to calm me, and my resolve to hate him for eternity wavered once again. I was torn - completely, and utterly. I had no idea how to reconcile the feelings within myself. Half of me was filled with righteous anger at him for destroying the beautiful creature before me, attempting to end her fragile existence, but leaving her a battered shell of condemned immortality. The other half wanted desperately to forgive him. To have my brother back - a pivotal pillar in all our lives for the past five decades.

It may seem nonsensical, and I'll freely admit I have no former frame of reference, but I felt that the bond that held our makeshift family together was stronger than those of blood ties. Our survival depended intrinsically on our ability to stick together, and help one another through this so-called 'life'. Add to that the fact that we had lived together for much longer than the average siblings - Patty and Selma Bouvier on The Simpsons being one possible exception - and the lack of blood ties seemed meaningless. Or lack of blood.

We, as a familial group, have constantly worried about Jasper. His control, or lack thereof, has always been a contentious issue in the back of our minds. It's just that we rarely spoke of that fear. Alice was the only one who was permitted to question his frequency of feeding, or whether he should push himself by being around humans so often. If anyone else dared to suggest he wasn't strong enough for a situation, the warrior side of Jasper would come out. His roar was frightening to even Emmett. So, we had always secretly known that one day he would break. If one of us was going to slip, it would be him. But had the thought passed through my mind that it would be My Bella who was on the receiving end? For some unfathomable reason, no. I had been much too concerned with my own control around her, that I hadn't considered that anyone else would turn on her. Naive, I'm well aware. Self-absorbed also.

Dying. She is dying right before my eyes. The man responsible is sitting not five yards from me, and I have yet to rip him to shreds. What is that showing of me? Clemency? Empathy? Or is it simply that it would be impossible to fight him when I refuse to be extricated from this girl's side. There is one thing I do know, but am struggling to accept - Bella wouldn't want vindication. She would forgive him in a heartbeat. I'm sure she already has. If she had actually died - real, honest, human death - she wouldn't be coming back for vengeance. Her pure heart would be worrying more about whether we would be exposed than her own demise. I can hear her now, telling me that 'what is done, is done. There is no use being angry about it'. My own stubbornness tries to rebut this. I want vengeance so desperately I can taste it. I can almost taste his flesh as I rip away at his neck.

The traitor's thoughts interrupted my fantasy_. Edward? I can leave if it is too much for you. You're all over the place. _

I shook my head reluctantly. Bella needs him here, more than I don't want him. "I think I'd be like this even with you on the other side of the planet," I sighed.

Alice reached over and touched my forehead. "Let it all out now, Edward. It's important you do."

I rolled my eyes, but the damn pixie is always right. I know I need to process all my thoughts before Bella wakes up. Then I can be solely focused on her once again. _Bella. Bella. Bella. Do what is right for Bella,_ I chanted over and over in my head.

I knew what would be best for her. My logical mind reminded me that Jasper's power in more powerful the closer he is to the recipient. It is begrudgingly that I motioned Jasper towards the spot at her feet. Due to her vertically challenged nature, there is just enough room for him to sit between her and the footboard. He hesitated before moving, and creeps to sit indian-style before her. His thoughts betrayed his fear that I was going to lunge at him, even with the girls in the room. _No,_ I thought to myself,_ I'm not going to deface your chivalrous sensibilities - idiot._ Regardless of my intention, as he placed his hand on her feverish foot, I struggled to contain the growl that was building in my chest. We all know what he was doing the last time he touched her. The other two minds in the room echoed my thoughts. They were hyper-aware of every minuscule move I made. Would I attempt revenge?

I knew that my emotional plane was off the charts, but I was unsure as to which emotion was winning the fight for supremacy. Anger and misery were duking it out like they were in the final match for Heavyweight Champion of the World. I averted my gaze from my brother and focused solely on my girlfriend. Well... 'mate' I guess she'd be known as now. No human terminology needed anymore. I buried my face in her hair, breathing in the scent that had, for over six months now, been both my haven and my plague.

The closing round bell sounded. Misery won.

The caress of her hair against my face tipped it. I found myself sobbing tearlessly. I vaguely noticed Jasper moving his hand toward me, preparing to calm me, quickly followed by the soft whisper of Alice reprimanding him.

"No," she hissed. "Let him feel it." The small part of my brain which noticed their thoughts saw him resume his position staring at Bella's toes.

I wished fervently that I could feel the release of tears. They would at least help soothe my pain. I lay there until the sun receded behind the trees, weeping against her neck. Her hair enveloped my head, and my fist clutched at the soft t-shirt Alice had changed her into last night. My mind flitted over our time together; the feel of her soft human skin against my hand; the stutter of her heartbeat when I kissed her. I cried for everything I had lost - not just her humanity, but our home and friends. Forks was the place I had fallen in love for the first time in my extended existence. It would always hold a significant portion of my heart. It was Bella's home. Who knows when we would come back again.

As the dimmed light of evening overcame the room, I choked back my last sob, and sat up slowly. My fingers ran softly over Bella's porcelain cheek on my ascent, and I breathed deeply. Alice and Jasper were still in their same positions, unaffected by the human affliction of restlessness. As I blew out my breath, their eyes turned to me. Jasper glanced towards Alice, and she nodded minutely. A wave of tranquility swept over me.

He sighed, and held my gaze. "Edward, I'm so sorry." The sincerity lacing his voice was staggering.

I was unsure whether I could yet forgive him. My eyes fell closed, and I nodded slowly. He could interpret that as he pleased.

My demeanor turned lighter. "Well... get to work then," I commanded, and motioned across her body, which was beginning to distort once more. He struggled to control the smirk which pulled at the corner of his mouth at the realization that my resolve was wavering, before returning all his efforts to sedating my inamorata.


	6. Appraisal

_**Edward**_

Midnight. The witching hour. The black mass.

It has been 28 hours since 'the incident'. I was counting down until we reach the halfway point in this ordeal. That was now 480 minutes away. 28,800 seconds.

After a nine hour vigil, I sent Jasper out to hunt. His influence was waning, and I needed him to be as strong as possible. So for now, it was just Bella and I. Rosalie and Emmett were also hunting. Carlisle had a night-shift at the hospital. And Esme was flitting around downstairs, cleaning anything she could get her hands on - a nervous habit. She worries about us too much, especially since there is nothing she could do right now. She had been in a few times to check if we needed anything, and to suggest I went and hunt. Not a chance. I was not leaving.

A sigh escaped me. I had spent night after endless night watching this girl sleep, yet this felt so much different. I know that it is not dreams that wracked her body. It was purgatory. I also appreciated that the next two days would be the final time I would watch her in unconsciousness. She had been migrating in and out of the state. When 'awake', she screamed, her voice having returned to her at full force, and pleaded, albeit somewhat incoherently, for me to help her. All I could do was pet her impotently. Her comas had mostly been brought on by Jasper's influence. He had managed to lull her into a fitful sleep several times, but the process was wearying on him. That is how he had left her twenty minutes earlier. With him gone, however, the spell had been broken, and the quiet moans, and the flutter of her eyelids told me that she was beginning to awaken again.

I decided to take this time alone to examine Bella's body - well to the point that modesty will allow. I refused to peek below the clothes, regardless of the direness of the situation. It would be indecent and depraved of me to take advantage of her like that. Even in the name of science. We have the rest of perpetuity for that and I when I do see her unclad, I want it to be special - and after we are married.

So for now, I concentrate on the exposed areas of her being.

I began with her skin. The wound on her neck had knitted itself back together with frighteningly rapid speed. If only one clue was here to prove the threads of her humanity had been torn apart, that would be it. For a human, if she hadn't lost so much blood, it would take several operations, skin grafts, and six months of rehabilitation to repair that kind of damage. But now, barely more than a day later, all that remained was a scar in the shape of Jasper's jaw. It was currently a bright silver color, but I know that by the time she wakes, the color will fade to look like our own bite-marks. I estimated that her skin had hardened by around 10% so far. It would need to stay pliable while her body tone and shape altered. But even that tiny percentage of change created an ache in my chest. I missed her beautiful softness already. Simple paper wouldn't be able to slice through her finger any longer. Her fragility was dematerializing before my very eyes. I took her hand within my own, and gently kissed the culpable fingertip. The rouge finger that sparked this chain of events. I laid a kiss on each finger in turn, returning once again to her formally slit digit.

I placed her hand carefully over her thumping heart, and ran my fingers over her flushed cheek, and through her hair. Her face had re-shaped itself somewhat. She was still Bella, but somehow... sharper. Some of the softness of her features had gone, being replaced with a more defined profile. It was how I expected her to look as she left teenager-hood and grew into a woman. She was stunning.

Even though in desperate need of washing, following her hours of sweating, her hair had obviously gained body, and it felt like cornsilk over my hyper-sensitive touch. I'm a man - I don't notice inconsequential things like hair, but even I could see the color had changed slightly. A richer brown, with more of those sun-inspired red highlights now grace her head. As I ran my fingers through her locks, a shiver ran through her body, accompanied by a low groan.

I leaned in close to her ear. "It's okay, my love. I'm here," I whispered. It may have been ego, but it felt like she knew I was there, and was comforted slightly by my presence.

A twitch in her bicep drew my attention, and I found my hands travelling to grasp the arm of their own accord. Instead of my usual feather-light touches on her skin, I let myself explore her still-supple skin with more force. I could feel the lean muscle below the skin already taking form. The small layer of fat that had previously been housed here was gone - she would no longer require it's warmth. I knew that if I pressed my fingers just a tiny amount more, I would feel the individual ropes of her increased muscle. But I abstained, ever conscious not to cause her any more pain than was absolutely necessary. I watched with undisguised awe as I pulled my hand away, and for the briefest of seconds, the indentation of my touch stayed on her flesh. My mind compared her to plasma - her skin was neither supple like a human, nor hard and impenetrable like a vampire. And like plasma she didn't really fit into any category. Plasma was neither solid nor liquid. Right now, my beloved was neither human nor vampire. Both existed in their own little league - completely unique. She had always fascinated me, every quirk and characteristic more interesting to me than the most complex of subjects. But her current state kept me mesmerized. I couldn't help myself. I had to keep poking at her skin, just to watch her body's reaction.

I marvelled at the way my caresses were reacted to until she became conscious again. She cried out in agony, calling my name in a way that broke my heart all over again.

"It burns," she growled, and I held her closer to my cool body. Frantic for some way to ease her pain, I ran to the bathroom for a cold compress for her head. Once in place, I peppered the remainder of her face with kisses. Maybe that would soothe her. I would try anything.

* * *

My head was right against hers when she started screaming louder than I had heard from her before. Her pain became my pain, and it wrenched my soul in two. I bashed my hand against my head, frustration leaking out of me in torrents. I had dedicated my existence to protecting this girl, and had failed miserably. I failed to stay away from her, regardless of the danger I constantly put her in. I failed to protect her from Jasper. I now failed to ease her pain. She was dying before me, and I was powerless to help her. My own cries, filled with my pent up frustration, echoed her own cries of pain.

Who would have thought it? I was wishing for Jasper to hurry back. While I was powerless, he would be able to ease her suffering again. I forced myself back into my calm state, and gripped her tense, writhing body in my lap.

_Bella. Bella. Bella. Do what is best for Bella._ My mantra had returned. I had to focus my entire mind to keep calm - to not lose it again. I was constantly on the verge of panic, and I knew it.

_Bella._

I submitted my right hand to her grasp, and allowed her to squeeze it with an anaconda-like grip. When had she gotten so strong? Yes, I knew her muscles were forming, but this was unexpected. I felt like an expectant father with a wife in labor. I longed to pull my hand away, but let her claim it.

_Bella._

My left hand found it's way back to her hair, which I had so recently been examining. I was astounded by it's texture. My fingers wove through the locks once more.

_Bella. _

My head fell, and kissed her forehead. My heart wanted to cry out 'Mine!', but my head knew better. She did not belong to me anymore now than she did two days ago. In fact, it was possible she wouldn't want to be with me once she woke up and heard of my negligence. She had every right to dismiss me for letting her be attacked. An epiphany rocked my body that she might not even remember me when she awoke. Even if she did, would she think me not so dazzling anymore compared to her perfection? I longed for my wonderings to be proved wrong.

_Bella._

I fell back to my stand-by move. The thing that calmed her more than anything I had come across. I prayed to whatever god was watching over her that she wouldn't tire of hearing it. I sucked in a deep breath, and began humming her lullaby for the seemingly millionth time since we had met.

I had been humming for around an hour, to mixed results, when I heard them. My heart rejoiced. Alice and Jasper were back.

My sister acknowledged me first. '_I'm sorry we took so long, Edward. But he's much better now - stronger. We'll be up in a minute. But I've been watching, and you are doing so well.' _

"Hardly," I muttered, knowing she was too far away to hear me.

She must have seen my response anyway, because several minutes later, she burst into the room, her eyes like fire. "Edward, don't question yourself like that. I forbid it." I raised an eyebrow at her sceptically. "She would be a lot worse if you weren't here with her. You ARE helping. I know it will never be enough for you, but you ARE."

I shrugged my shoulders casually. Jasper appeared in the doorway behind her, much less eager than Alice. It pained him to be anywhere near Bella right now, and he had purposefully walked up the stairs slowly, putting off being in the same room as her.

He breathed deeply, took his spot at the end of the bed, and placed his hands back on her ankles. Almost instantly, she relaxed noticeably.

I glanced at my watch. 263 minutes until we reached halfway. 15,780 seconds. Or maybe I should start a new countdown. 2423 minutes, or 145,380 seconds until our hell ended.


	7. Separation

_**Edward**_

My whole being was screaming for them to leave her alone, and give her back to me. She was mine. They couldn't touch her. I paced impatiently outside the bathroom door as the women did God-knows-what to my beloved. Well, from the sounds emanating from the room, I presumed that they were bathing her, but still my body twitched to run in there and save her from Alice's control. It had been almost midday when Carlisle came to look at her, and announced that her sweat glands had closed up. On perfect cue, Alice had come bounding into the room, stolen my girl, and called Rosalie and Esme to help her.

I was not happy. I wanted her back.

"They're not hurting her," Carlisle reminded me. "They love her too."

I squirmed - a completely un-vampiric motion - and sighed. I knew this. I knew she was safe with them, but that didn't abate the hole that I felt in the middle of my chest just from being in a separate room.

Jasper glanced up at me from his position leaning against the closed door - close enough to Bella to lull her into relaxation. _'Seriously Edward,' _his thoughts growled. _'I can't help both of you at once. You're going to have to calm down so I can focus on her.' _

I rolled my eyes, and continued pacing. _Stupid bossy vampire who caused all this. He can't tell me what to do._

I saw the plan in Carlisle's head before he spoke the words.

"No!" I growled.

He just shook his head, and continued. "Emmett, take him out to hunt."

"No!" I protested again, but to no avail. Before I could get the word out, Emmett had grabbed me from behind, and was carrying me forcibly down the stairs. "Put me down!" I clawed frantically at the arms that surrounded me, but I knew realistically I was no match for him.

"Come on, dude," Emmett smiled. "You know those girls. They'll be in there for at least an hour. She won't even notice you being gone for ten minutes."

I turned my head as far as it would go to glare at him. "You know the second you put me down, I'll just run back," I reminded him as he ran me further into the forest.

"No you won't. You know we're right. You need this. Then you can go back to her, and stay there until she wakes up. Who knows when you'll get the chance to hunt again. God knows a newborn isn't going to just let you take something anywhere in her vicinity. And you won't be able to fight her off. You're not Chuck Norris."

"I could beat Chuck Norris in a fight with one hand tied behind my back," I retorted, attempting to distract him from the fact that I'd given in, and wasn't fighting him anymore.

"Really?" he chuckled. "Because I heard that Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. Even you aren't that fast."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Can we quit this inane conversation and get this over with? I want to get back."

Emmett grinned victoriously and waved his hand out towards the trees. "Be my guest. Don't let me stop you."

I instantly caught the scent of a buck only about a mile off, and was off. I could feel Emmett about 100 yards behind me, keeping me in his sights. I didn't need a babysitter, and picked up my speed to try and shake him off. The feeling of the wind breezing past my ears filled me with exhilaration. At my full speed, the inconsequentialities of life faded away. My human worries seemed so insignificant. Even my worry for Bella seemed to fade - not to the point of obscurity as something like, say, homework would, but I was no longer wrought to the point of breaking with worry. After being cooped inside for almost two days, it felt amazing to leap through the air as I pounced on my prey. It was as close to flying as one could get. This was one thing I looked forward to sharing with Bella. This ... freedom.

As I drank, I tried to make a step by step mental list of the best hunting methods to instruct Bella tomorrow night. My experience should help her in her inaugural hunt, even if only to make her a little tidier than the average newborn. I shuddered at the thought. Bella hunting. It just didn't seem right in my head. Graceful Bella hunting in fact. My clumsy Bella flying through the forest, never once tripping on mere twigs. Having perfect knowledge of her every surrounding.

As I disposed of the drained carcass, Emmett came strolling over casually to me. "Feel better?"

I tried not to remember the pain I had been in when Bella's blood had been spilt. Even covered by bandages, being beside her had caused my throat to burn as badly as that first day I had sat next to her in class. But mind over matter. My need to be at her side had won out over the lust for her blood. Now that she was healed, it was somewhat of a relief - for my thirst, anyway. The thought of her blood flowing freely, much to my horror, forced a new wave of venom to fill my mouth. I tried to force it down, but the thirst remained.

"Uh.. maybe just one more. You know - just in case," I stuttered. "Since we're already out here and all."

Emmett laughed loudly in his head, but to the outside world, he simply nodded in assent, and followed as I stalked my next prey.

* * *

Sated, I sat on a fallen log as I waited for Emmett to finish the deer he had happened across as I drank. I overemphasized my foot tapping impatiently on the ground. I was more than ready to return home, and the girls would surely be almost done.

"Eager much?" he grumbled as he approached. I leaped to my feet, and started back towards the house when I was stopped in my tracks by a potent scent. Not a good scent, either.

"Werewolf," I gasped, and Emmett stopped in his tracks also, sniffing the air before scrunching his nose in disgust.

"What the hell is a dog doing up here? They aren't supposed to come on our land," he huffed, mentally preparing himself for a fight.

I stood my ground, hoping the wolf would come to us, and stay away from the house, while I wasn't there to protect Bella. It was approaching quickly, and once it ran into my range, and I heard it's thoughts, one word made me abandon any plan I had to fight - _Bella._

Emmett growled and fell into a crouch as the large wolf came into sight. I put my hand out and touched his shoulder. "No," I whispered. "Just wait until we know what it wants. We don't need to start a war with them."

Very begrudgingly, Emmett conceded to my will, and relaxed his defensive pose.

'_What have you bloodsuckers done with the Swan girl?'_

I was apprehensive about giving away too much information. "What do you mean?"

_'I mean,'_ he snarled, _' that her father has been over at Billy's house beside himself, because apparently she's run off with one of you "Cullen"s. You did know they were friends, right? You knew that it wouldn't take long for me to find out your lies?'_

"It's not exactly a lie," I hedged. "She has left her father, yes, and I do plan to marry her."

Emmett's head whipped in my direction at my admission of my intentions. He hadn't heard me specifically say I wanted to marry her before.

_'Billy sent me up here to find out what's going on.'_

"I don't think that's any of your business," I snapped.

The wolf growled low and long. _'It's exactly my business if you've bitten her. Her scent is still around your house..'_

"You stay away from our house," I interrupted, but he continued as if I hadn't said a word.

_'...so I don't think you've killed her. But the pact didn't specify - a bite is a bite as far as I'm concerned.'_

I searched his mind to find his name. "Look, Sam. All you need to know is that we haven't killed any humans, and some of us will be leaving town in a couple of days - the others following when school finishes to avoid suspicion. What Charlie said is true. Bella and I have left, and are getting married. Okay? We don't mean any harm to you or your people, and we hope you would extend the same will towards us."

Sam didn't fancy a two on one fight, so backed down. _'Remember I'll be keeping an eye on you leeches. One wrong move and you're mine.'_

I nodded my acknowledgment, and he backed away slowly. Once he was past the treeline, he turned and sprinted away. I held my finger up to stop Emmett talking while I listened to his thoughts. Once he was out of earshot, I turned to my brother, a stressed look on my face.

"Oh man!" Emmett said, excitedly. "How did you stay so diplomatic? I wanted to go all World War Three on his ass."

"Fighting him," I explained, "would just prove our guilt to all the Quileutes, and would have destroyed the treaty forever. At least by being civil we're holding it in tact until they get some proof. He didn't want to start a fight with us knowing he was outnumbered, and the others could have been close by. He's still almost positive that one of us has bitten Bella, but he's going to wait until he knows more before attacking us. It seems there are several of their boys who are going to start phasing soon, so he'd have a better chance then."

He nodded his understanding, still internally seething that he didn't have an excuse to kill the dog. "We need to tell the others," he prompted me, and we stormed back to the house as quickly as we could.

I was up the stairs 10 seconds before Emmett, and burst into my bedroom where Carlisle and Jasper were still sitting, talking quietly while the girls finished up their chores in the bathroom.

"Wolves!" I choked out, and all eyes were on me in horror. The bathroom door burst open, and three more sets of eyes fell on me, searching for confirmation. The smallest set of arms carried My Bella, now clad in a new set of clothes, and set her down on my bed. In Jasper's shock at my announcement, he forgot about his job at hand, and Bella cried out. I was at her side instantly, leaving Emmett to explain what had happened to the rest of the family.

Five mouths hung open in shock as he filled them in.

"I thought we'd have longer than this," Carlisle sighed, shaking his head slowly.

"What do we do?" Esme asked, clinging to her husband.

Carlisle thought for a moment. He swiftly sorted through our options, eliminating each one as it presented as dangerous. "We stick with our plan. Edward takes Bella up to Denali. We stay here until the school year is over. It reduces scrutiny on us, and will reinforce what Charlie has been told.

If the Quileutes try to tell Charlie what they suspect, they'll have to reveal a lot more information about _how _they know that. Revealing what you are seems to be just as much as part of their laws as it is for us."

The family nodded in agreement as I continued to stroke Bella's now clean hair, and coo soothingly at her. While I agreed that the wolf - soon to be wolves - was a big problem for us, all my worldy cares lay in Bella. The only important thing in my world right now was laying right here in front of me.


	8. Eyes

_**Jasper**_

Apprehension swirled around the room like a dust storm. It assaulted me from all directions, and made me feel like I was knocked backwards by the force. Of all of them, Carlisle was easily the calmest. I guess he had the most experience with these shapeshifters, or whatever they claimed to be, and understood their limitations. I wished that I had seen one before so I could get a better sense of whether they truly were a threat to our family. I was dubious that they were really as benign as Edward claimed.

In their shoes, I wouldn't pause before attacking. Not only were we their mortal enemies, but it was our very presence which had caused their young men to be torn away from their normal teenaged lives, and forced into the unaging, supernatural world. Each of those in this room understood exactly how that felt.

I only realised that the wolf talk had distracted me from my primary job when Bella groaned loudly.

"Shit," I cursed under my breath, and flashed to the bed. As I sent the first strong wave of calm towards her, I sent an apologetic look at Edward.

"Sorry man."

He shrugged me off, his eyes telling me to concentrate harder and cut out the conversation. His extreme anger was fading somewhat, to be replaced by annoyance, and ... hope. I could guess exactly where that hope came from. I would be feeling the same way. Now, with around 18 hours to go, the light at the end of the tunnel was becoming clearer by the minute. His ordeal would be coming to a close tomorrow, and I just knew that once Bella was awake, his anguish would disintegrate. We all knew from experience how much happier he was when Bella was by his side.

Edward had obviously been following my thoughts, as he caught my eye, and nodded.

Had he forgiven me? Were we going to be okay? My heart soared at the prospect. Edward, though, had other ideas. His face turned from content to a harsh glare in my direction. His emotions, however, didn't correspond with his expression. He knew just as well as anyone that he couldn't trick me - he was starting to break. I felt confident that we would get past this, and become friends again.

I watched closely as his face flickered, attempting to keep his carefully practiced facade in place. "I am not breaking," he growled, and I chuckled at his childish stubbornness.

The extreme emotions around us faded slightly as the two other couples drifted out of the room and downstairs, and took some of the pressure off my buzzing mind. Alice crawled up onto the bed with us, and lay her head in my lap. She grabbed Bella's free hand, and I couldn't help but chuckle at the image before me. We were like a mirror image - Edward holding Bella, and me holding with Alice, the girls laying next to each other top and tail. In the periods where Bella was quiet, anyone would think we were just two normal couples hanging out. I hoped that in the future that would be the truth. My free-spirited beauty could soothe my tortured soul without so much as a word. Her very presence made my task at hand seem less like a chore, and more something I wanted to do. Alice loved Bella almost as much as Edward did - though in a very different way, I presumed.

A grin spread across my face as my mind wandered, exploring that idea. The eternal male fantasy quickly ensued.

"Seriously, Jasper," Edward hissed. "Quit it."

Alice looked at me questioningly, and the smirk on my face as I glanced between the two girls must have given away the content of my musings. An evil grin graced her mouth, as she sidled closer to me. "Really?" She began sending off her 'I'm up to something' vibe.

"Alice!" Edward scolded.

"Oh, come on, Edward," she smiled seductively. "Don't tell me you're not enjoying it."

I felt arousal and shame pour off him. The poor, innocent, virgin. "That's not the point right now, and you know it," he grumbled, looking at the ground.

That he was uncomfortable with his current feelings was obvious, so I worked quickly to erase them, and elbowed Alice in an attempt to make her stop the mental pictures.

"Apologies," I muttered. "It wasn't intentional." I forced my own feelings of regret out into the room, so he would feel my remorse at causing him discomfort. It must have worked, because he relaxed somewhat.

I took a minute to check Bella's state. Happy that she seemed as comfortable as I could make her, I mused on my own pain levels. Either the effort it took to sedate Bella was diminishing, or my body was growing accustomed to the assignment. Whichever it was, the simple fact that I was able to conduct a conversation indicated that it was becoming easier. I wasn't in nearly as much pain as I had been when first summoned. This both pleased and riled me. Naturally, I was happy to have my discomfort at a manageable level. However, I knew that I needed to pay my penance, and my brother wouldn't be satisfied unless I was in inconsolable pain.

I watched the couple before me, and wondered at their seeming perfection. Like they were cut from the same piece of cloth, once we accepted the relationship, and had seen them together, I never once questioned that they were made for each other. Yes, I condemned Edward's initial actions, fearing our secrets would be uncovered, but once I saw how inexplicably happy this human girl made him, I could no longer stand in his way. Although some thought their union to be fairly one-sided, only seeing the gentlemanly things that Edward would do for Bella, and focusing on external facades, I believed things to be different. From what I saw of them, Bella had done so much more for Edward than vice versa. She had made him come out of his shell, and enjoy his existence once again, after decades of hatred. She had made him whole again. And not only was she willing to make his life livable once more, she was now giving her life for him. Yes, this was currently my doing, but I truly believed that if these events hadn't occurred two days ago, then she would have eventually found some other way to convince him that she wanted to join us in eternity. She had given him her heart, her soul, and now her life. Holding open doors, and running after her to Arizona seemed like nothing in comparison.

As these thoughts crossed my mind, Edward hearing them along with me, I noticed Bella stirring. Her pain levels seemed to be down slightly, which was reassuring, and she quickly slid back into consciousness. She didn't seem to be anxious at all, so I waited, holding off on sedating her again.

Her eyes fluttered open, drawing the attention of all three of us instantaneously. We gasped almost in unison at the sight. Her earthy brown eyes were no longer - looking up, directly at Edward, was a set of crimson eyes. I felt him choke back a sob when he saw them. I was so proud when he ignored his own anguish to focus on her needs. My brother had become a selfless man - all brought on by a seemingly insignificant girl.

"Bella," he breathed, as blood-red eyes met golden. He was unable to tear his gaze away, and cupped her cheek lovingly. It was a sight to behold.

"Edward," she gasped, meeting his loving gaze shortly before cringing in pain. "It hurts."

His whole body flinched at her proclamation, guilt over-riding him, which I quickly set about erasing. "I know, my love," he cooed. "I'm sorry."

"Am I..." She didn't need to finish her question.

He nodded regretfully back at her. "It'll all be over soon. I promise."

She let out a small whimper, and fell back into unconsciousness. It was such a short encounter, but it revealed to us two important things. Firstly that she knew what was going on, and secondly that the trauma of the change hadn't yet wiped her memory. The flash of relief that came from Edward when she said his name told me that he was concerned that would happen. The fact that she remembered who he was, was a relief not only to Edward himself, but to all of us. I didn't need Alice's foresight to know that that tiny piece of information greatly bettered their future.

* * *

Alice was squirming around, ready to bounce out of her skin. She felt like a tightly wound jack-in-the-box, ready to spring open. I was just reaching to calm her down, when she burst.

"Edward," she gasped. "What was it like?"

"What was what like, Alice?" he sighed. We all knew very well that a tiny peek inside her mind would tell him exactly what she was talking about. The fact that he was toying with her was a definite improvement on his mood from the last two days. Alice's vibrations were beginning, however, to jostle Bella, and Edward sent me a pointed look. I quickly pulled her to me, and restrained her securely in my lap. Not that I was complaining.

"What was the wolf like, nimrod?" I shook my head at her impatience.

"Well.... he was just like the wolves were the last time we lived here," he hedged.

Alice leaned over and swiftly hit him upside the head. "We weren't with you the last time, idiot. Tell me!" she whined.

"He looked like a really big dog, I guess. God, Alice, you know what a wolf looks like. You've killed enough of them."

She sighed, exasperated. "Edward," she began, speaking as if to a child. "You saw inside his mind. What are they like as people? Are they bad? Do they just want to kill us no matter the consequences?" She paused, unsure whether to voice her last question. "When Charlie would take Bella down to visit at the reservation, was she in danger?"

Shock and realization filled Edward, and his eyes widened noticeably. "I... I.... don't think so," he stuttered, his gaze flickering quickly between Alice and Bella. "He didn't show any sign of knowing her personally, he just knew OF her." If it were possible, I thought he might start hyperventilating.

I attempted to ease his fear, and the felt the military side of me step up. "If he wasn't so outnumbered, would he have attacked us?"

Edward gripped Bella's slowly hardening skin slightly too tightly, but in his panic was unaware of his mistake. I slowly reached over, and pulled at his fingers gently, as he stared off into space, obviously sorting his thoughts. His hand loosened somewhat, to my satisfaction. "He was confident that he could take us if it was one-on-one, and possibly if there was two of us. But not Emmett. I suppose I'm lucky that it was him that was with me at the time."

"We should be careful not to go out alone. Go hunting in pairs at the very least," I was quick to point out, my military training coming to me like second nature.

"I'll go tell them," Alice offered, and climbed off the bed. She got to the door, when she stopped stock still, in a vision. Panic oozed off her, and I couldn't help but fly to her side to help her. "What the hell?" she gasped.

Edward's face wrinkled in confusion also, having seen her vision second-hand. "Rosalie's already out there," he informed me, and a quick survey of the noises of the house confirmed his evaluation.

"What is it, sweetheart?" I prompted her gently.

She shook her head slowly. "I don't know. Everything is black. I... I.... don't know. But I can't see her," she sobbed.

"Emmett, Carlisle?" I called, trying to keep the frantic tone out of my voice. "Go find Rose, now!"


	9. Wolf

_**Rosalie**_

I hadn't really wanted to take part in Alice's game of Bella Barbie. I had much better things to do with my time than bathe and dress an unconscious human... well human for the next day, at least. There wasn't even anything special about this girl. She wasn't anywhere near as pretty as I was. Why Edward was so besotted, I had no idea. But Alice had given me that stupid puppy dog look, and insisted that I needed to bond with "our new sister". Once Esme started to agree with her, how was I supposed to say 'no' without sounding petty?

And was it worth it? Did we bond? Doubtful. She was sedated the whole time, except for the three times she thrashed about, her arm hitting my face viciously every time. Alice and Esme? -- Not a swipe. Always me. It was like she did it on purpose. She's lucky I don't bruise.

When Emmett and Edward came home, yelling about seeing the werewolf, I was glad for the distraction from our 'beautifying'. I listened, curious, as they described their encounter, and I found myself subconsciously sidling up to my husband. I was surprised to hear that he hadn't attacked the dog.

I escaped as soon as I could to go hunting. Not because I really needed to, but more to get away from the evil pixie. I had no question that next, Alice would want to put make up on Bella or something else equally stupid. I did not want to be around when that idea came up.

So, I found myself taking my aggression out on a poor, innocent Roosevelt Elk. I savored the flavor like the finest Merlot, letting myself concentrate only of the sensations, and not the chaos that was ensuing at home. It felt so good to be alone, and away from everything. Even now, long after Bella's wounds had healed, the smell of her spilt blood still permeated the air thickly. While I pride myself on my self-control, and the fact that while I have killed humans, I haven't tasted their blood, even I had felt the pull towards her. Out here, the air was fresh - the eternal Washington rain making the air taste like.... well, how I remember freshly squeezed lemonade with crushed mint tasting.

I sniffed the air, taking deep breaths, trying to decide if there was anything else appetising enough to warrant my time in the vicinity, when my cellphone starting vibrating in my pocket. Sighing, I took a glance at the screen. _'Alice'._ I quickly turned the phone off, and replaced it in my pocket. I knew exactly what she would want, and I wanted no part of it. No, I did not want to do something else for Bella. I didn't want to paint her toenails. I did not want to braid her hair. Anyone would think we were a bunch of teenagers having a slumber party. Okay, yes, I knew that technically, some of us still _were_ teenagers. But... God! I was sick of it. Everything recently had been 'Bella this' and 'Bella that'.

I knew that I sounded like I didn't care. That I was just being horrible. But really, I remember my own change crystal clear. She was going to be in mind-numbingly excruciating pain regardless of what we did. We may as well just leave her alone. It's not like we were making a difference.

Unwilling to go back to the house just yet, I lay down in the grass of the small clearing I have found myself in, and stared at the clouds. At times like this, I often wished to have my inferior human brain back again. That way I could just stare at the sky, without thinking, without my brain trying to analyse every tiny detail I saw. It would have been much more relaxing. Maybe I could even drop off to sleep for a few blissful minutes. I stopped breathing, blocking my sense of smell, hoping that I could feel slightly more human for just a short while. With my eyes gently closed, I imagined that I could hear the faint thumping of my own heartbeat. The thought was so realistic that I couldn't help sighing in pleasure. This is what life should be like -- simple, stress free, and peaceful. Mortal too, preferably.

A stealthy crunching noise assaulted my ears, and my eyes flew open. Before I could even will my body move, I was already in a crouching position, ready to confront whoever had interrupted my reverie. If it was Alice, I was going to rip her arm off. My senses were tingling, alerting me to danger, and I involuntarily starting breathing again, taking in every scent around me. Yes, members of my family had been around here recently, but none were in the vicinity. The prevailing scent was horrid, and if I could, I thought I'd hurl. It was like rotting tree trunks, mixed with sea salt, and the underlying scent of wet dog. It was worse than those scratchy hand-knitted sweaters your grandmother made you, caught out in a rainstorm.

Whatever it was, it was rapidly approaching from the south. It had to be the wolf Emmett had run in to earlier. The one who thought had broken the treaty. Which, technically I suppose we had, but he didn't know that for sure. The one who felt entitled to kill us. The one who was gaining on me, fast. Sure I could outrun it, and if not, fight it off, I turned towards the east, running towards home. I forced my feet faster as the smell became stronger.

_Dammit_, I thought as I ran_. How are they doing this? I'm a vampire for God's sake. An animal shouldn't be able to catch me. _

I could hear his heavy breathing right behind me, and the action of his leaping made me turn towards him, and duck out of the way. Fight it would be.

"Leave me alone, mutt," I growled. "I didn't do anything." I tried not to put the emphasis on the word _'I'_, which would effectively admit the guilt of my family. But in my head, I was screaming _'It wasn't me! It was them!_'

The dog didn't care about my proclaimed innocence. He simply saw me as fair game. And I was alone.

He lunged at me again, teeth bared, growling. I side-stepped at lightening speed, and instead of taking my head off, he grazed my arm with his disgusting fur. His jaw clamped down on my forearm, and incredible pain ripped through my body. The back of my mind was panicking. I knew how to fight my own kind. I knew how to take down any animal. Even instinctively, I knew the quickest way to kill a human. But this was an unknown entity. He was just as strong as me, if not stronger, and obviously agile. Most importantly, unlike our normal prey, this dog could pierce our skin with ease. That was evident when I watched, stunned, as my arm came off at the elbow. I cried out in pain and fury, and lashed out with my most lethal weapons - my teeth. I sunk them into his flank, ripping as much flesh off as I could manage. A roar left his chest as I spat out the meat, and cringed at the taste of his blood on my tongue. I'd never tasted blood I didn't like to some degree, but this taste made me shudder violently.

We circled each other warily. I was cradling my injured arm to my chest, my eyes frantically searching for where he'd thrown the rest of it. His eyes roamed my body, knowing he had the advantage now. He still had all his limbs, one leg only being maimed slightly, and still functional. I mentally calculated how I could get at that leg again, hopefully slowing him down enough so I could make a run for it. That was my best chance.

_Is this how I'm going to die? Will they even find my ashes? What will happen to Emmett?_

Swallowing back a sob at the thought of never seeing my husband again, I focused all my attention on my attacker, my eyes trained on his already injured right leg. The key to my survival.

"I know you probably don't care about this," I threw at him, "but Bella would have done anything to be with my brother. I hope you realise you're starting a war in the name of someone who didn't even _want _to stay human."

I waited for him to come at me, and as he clamped down on the remainder of my arm at the shoulder, I attacked his leg once more. I grabbed at it with my good arm, and held it to my body, biting him over and over, pulling flesh out at every opportunity. I felt my own shoulder come apart, and out of the corner of my eye watched as my upper arm went flying. As I saw him lunge at my neck, I made a final blow to his knee-cap, released him, and ran.

I could feel the bite mark on the crease between my shoulder and neck. It stung as if someone had poured pure alcohol into an open wound. I chanced a glance behind me, and could see him racing behind me. Thankfully, with only three good legs, he wasn't as fast as last time we were in this position.

As I put my head down, intent on increasing my speed faster than I had ever run, I crashed into something hard, and arms wrapped around me.

I screamed loudly. _There's more than one of them, _I thought, and submitted myself to my imminent demise.

"It's okay, baby," my husband's voice cooed in my ear, as he held me tightly.

The realization that I wasn't dead, that I was saved, flooded through me, and I clung to his shirt with all the strength of my one arm, sobbing tearlessly. I had never been so happy to see him in my life. A growl rumbled through his chest, and I could hear a responding growl coming from the wolf, only yards from us. A third growl was heard to my left, and I turned to see Carlisle crouched there, looking like he was ready to strike.

Emmett kissed the top of my head, before moving me around behind him, away from my attacker. I crumbled to the ground, impotent, as he stalked forward, more than ready to rip the dog to pieces. As my two saviours approached, the wolf realized his disadvantage, and with a high-pitched yelp, fled. Emmett started to run after him, but a moments hesitation as I whimpered on the ground gave the animal enough of a head-start to make his getaway.

He returned to me within minutes, as Carlisle was checking my injuries.

"I'll go find your arm," Carlisle told us, and set off in the direction I had come.

The second he was out of sight, my face, and the cuts on my neck were being covered in kisses. "Are you okay, baby?" he asked between kisses.

"I'll live. Once I get my arm back."

"Fuck the treaty," he snarled. "I'm going down to the reservation and killing that beast myself."

"No!" I cried. "Please don't leave me." Just the idea of him putting himself in danger terrified me. I knew first hand what that thing was capable of, and we couldn't be sure there weren't more of them waiting for us.

"But..." His need for vengeance covered his face.

I looked up at him with large, pained eyes, my usual hard facade long gone. "Please..."

"Fine." He kissed me urgently on the lips before breaking away. "But if he comes back here, he's mine."

I nodded my assent, and curled myself closer to his chest as he easily picked me up, cradling my broken body gently. "Just take me home," I whispered. We could wait for Carlisle to return at the house. I didn't want to stay out here longer than normal.


	10. Waking

**A/N: **Yip, this took longer to write than expected because of my tendancy to fall down and hurt myself a lot, which rendered my writing hand useless for several days. I'm gonna have some wicked scars, but I'm lots better now.

I have just as much rights to SM's work as I do to the Mona Lisa, or Scott Patterson's ass. A girl can dream though, can't she?

_**

* * *

**_

_**Edward**_

She was beautiful. Well, she'd always been beautiful, perfect to my eyes. But she was now undeniably flawless. She could be a supermodel. Even from across the room, Jasper was noticing her changes. Everything I loved about this woman had become more pronounced. It was almost as if she were made just for me. Her lips were fuller, her hair was lusher. Since sometime this morning, I had been holding her hand gingerly, unable to let my hands wander to touch the rest of her skin.

Why? I was scared. Under my touch, I had felt the thin skin of her fingers and palms harden to granite. I had watched as every inch of her body was drained of color - her beautiful blush would never again adorn her cheeks, and her skin wouldn't be blessed with the slight tinge of sun-kissed bronze over summer. Although she'd always been pale, we now matched.

As I considered crawling closer to test the new hardness of her skin, debilitating fear gripped me, not allowing me to approach any further.

Jasper glanced up from his book, confused. "What's wrong? What are you scared of?"

I quickly turned my face away from him, embarrassed at being caught being such a baby. Touching her skin shouldn't be causing me this much trouble. Yet I worried how my body would react to her vampiric skin. Would she still feel like my Bella? Would my muscle memory recognize her shape?

_Do you want my help?_

My mind wrestled with itself, fighting the urge to accept Jasper's assistance, yet knowing logically that it wouldn't hurt me to relinquish that minuscule amount of resistance towards him.

When I attempted to approach her still body once more, but was held back for a second time by my fear, I relented. I nodded slowly, still refusing to look at him.

I heard as he closed his book, placed it on the floor, and rested his arms on his knees, sighing loudly.

"Is it just that she's going to feel different?" he enquired softly. "Is that why you've been on this roller-coaster all morning?"

A cold chill ran through me, and I turned slowly towards him. I met his concerned gaze, and allowed his soothing influence to wash over me.

"Maybe," I admitted. "I presume that's the only thing that's stopping me."

His raised eyebrow showed he didn't fully believe me.

"What if.... what if the spark isn't there anymore? You know I love her with all my being, but... what if part of her appeal was her fragility, her softness, all those things?"

"Edward," he commanded gently. "Let her hand go. Step back. Look at her." I did as he asked, feeling a slight pang as I dropped our connection. "How do you feel?"

I studied her face - the face that haunted my every daydream, the face that I watched every night, the only face I wanted to see for the rest of my time. "Well.... it's like always, I guess. I know it sounds sappy, and I should be in some cheesy Hugh Grant movie, but even being this far from her, I yearn for her."

"Does she look different to you?"

"Come on," I scoffed. "I have vampire eyesight. Of course I can see the differences."

"That's not what I asked. Does she still look like Bella?"

I paused, getting an inkling of where he was going with this. "Yes. Of course."

"And you love Bella for who she is inside, not just for how she looks or feels, right?"

"Correct. But what if..."

"No," he interrupted. "It's as simple as that. Now, look at her face, and touch her skin."

I hesitated, closing my eyes briefly, and reaching forward slowly. I let my fingertips brush ever so lightly against her arm. It was cold, colder than I expected. Than her hand had been only minutes earlier. I made my eyes focus directly on her features, drawing me in.

"Bella," I whispered reverently as I strengthened my touch. I took notice of how her flesh now held the same pliability as my own did. The same as the rest of my family. I blew my breath out in one quick burst, and when I tried to inhale again, it hitched as I felt that same electricity from her human time flicker through me. I allowed my eyes to rake across her still body, down towards where my hand rested on her. "My Bella." She was still mine. I knew without a doubt that my affection hadn't diminished one iota. If anything, the fact that she had put herself through the past two and half days for me made me love her even more, if that were at all possible. My mind drifted back to the chaos of when this had all begun. I had to force myself not to flick my eyes towards my brother as the vision of his attack flooded my consciousness. Bella didn't know how badly she had been hurt. She couldn't see her horrible injuries, and she certainly didn't have adequate medical training to realize how very close she was to death. And still, she didn't hesitate to allow the venom to make it's progression. She chose me over her life. My Bella.

"I don't deserve this," I mumbled.

A laugh came from the couch. "You've got to be kidding me."

"What? With all the sins in my past, I don't deserve for her to give up her life for me."

"Would you do the same for her?"

"In a heartbeat. No pun intended."

"Then there you have your answer. That you would die for her, shows how selfless you truly are. You deserve some happiness. Take it. Don't argue it."

I frowned. "I guess."

"Think of this as a gift." He gestured across her body. "You've lived for 70 years in a state on penance and self-deprivation. You're one of the most "well behaved" people I know - vampire or human. Let yourself be happy. She wanted this. Allow her to give herself to you."

"That sounded rather depraved," I pointed out.

"You know that's not how I meant it," he huffed. "Just think about it... quickly. Her skin's completely changed, right?" I nodded. "So she must be almost finished."

I had vacillated a lot on this issue since Bella started her change. I wanted desperately to believe that I deserved this happiness, and as I gazed on her beauty, I struggled to remember my reasons why I may not.

* * *

I heard Alice leaping up the stairs as graceful as a ballerina. She burst through the door, grinning.

"Hows Rose doing?" I probed.

She grinned. "She's ordering Emmett around like a little slave boy. She seems to be back to her old self. Maybe more bitchy than normal."

The amusing vision floated through my mind, courtesy of Alice's memory.

"What about physically?" Jasper asked, as he pulled his wife into his lap.

"Carlisle did a good job," she explained. "She's almost regained all her movement. For such a bad amputation, she's doing quite well for less than a day later. And the other bite marks we found healed pretty quickly."

"Good," Jasper nodded.

"So, do you want to know why I came up here?" she grinned.

"It wasn't for the stand up comic I've hired?" I deadpanned.

I searched her mind, but the little minx was blocking me out again. Why she had to insist on these juvenile guessing games, I had no idea.

I looked at her pointedly.

"Hold on to your hat, Edward. It's almost over. She's going to wake up in about twenty minutes." She was practically bouncing off of Jasper's lap.

I watched my fingers glide over Bella's skin. "Wow," I whispered. I was in awe. It was so fast. In mere minutes, my love's pain would be over, and I would get to see her, to talk to her, again.

"That's rather soon, don't you think, darlin'?" Jasper's voice rang through the room. "It's only been 65 hours."

"I don't know," she huffed. "I just know it's going to happen. Not why. Surely not every change is exactly 72 hours. It's just an average, isn't it?" She looked at me questioningly.

"Esme was about 70 hours. Emmett was 75, and Rosalie was exactly 72 - almost to the minute. Perfect as always." I smirked at them, knowing that Her Highness downstairs would have heard us. Her ears always perked up when she heard her name. Sure enough, her thoughts betrayed her eavesdropping, and her pride at being referred to as 'perfect'. _Yeah, _she snarked. _Good to know that even though I have to be a blood-thirsty vampire, I was good at it straight away. _I smiled, and shook my head, holding back the laughter that threatened to bubble up.

I leaned over, placing a soft kiss on Bella's ear, before whispering to her. "Twenty minutes, love. The pain is almost over. And then we can be together forever."

"Eighteen minutes," Alice corrected quietly.

I felt the bed shift as Jasper sat down on the edge, two feet from where I sat. Alice pulled her knees up to her chest, and watched the two of us, sitting in silence for several minutes, each contemplating the past three days.

Finally, Jasper was the one to break the hush. "Are you ready for this, Edward?" _You know... mentally?_

I looked into his face, studying his concerned expression. He had done nothing but pay his penance this whole time, and for that I was exceedingly grateful. I didn't know how I would have handled watching Bella is such excruciating pain for such a long period of time. I imagined it would drive me close to the brink of insanity.

_Ignore me. Concentrate on her_, he instructed.

I sat back up on the bed, and pulled her head into my lap. Her heartbeats, becoming weak and irregular, seemed to echo around the room. I felt like I were standing right next to Big Ben as it struck - was it possible for a human heartbeat to be so freakishly loud?

So consumed by the sound, I barely noticed the two other occupants of my bedroom until they rose and headed for the door. I looked up at them in shock.

"Are you leaving?"

Alice nodded. "You'll want to be alone with her when she wakes up."

"I'll stay just outside the door in case she freaks out," Jasper added.

I nodded my agreement. Yes, it should just be the two of us. This moment should just be about her and I. And I also didn't want to overwhelm her with so many people. It would be very noisy.... Noise. That was a point. "Uh, apart from Jasper, can you make sure everyone stays downstairs, and keeps as quiet as possible? I don't want her to go into sensory overload what with everyones' scents being close by, and the sounds of people moving around the house. There will already be enough for her mind to process."

Alice sent me a friendly smile. "Of course. Come down when you're ready." She brushed her hand over Bella's leg as she passed towards the door. _Remember, it's a happy occassion, _she thought as she descended the stairs to talk to the remainder of my family. Our family. Bella's too, now.

Jasper was just closing the door behind him, when I called him back. "Jasper?"

He stopped and looked at me. "Yeah?"

"Thanks for coming back and helping us. Really. I appreciate it."

"Edward, I just...."

"No," I interrupted him. "They were all right. It could just as easily have been me. It was just an accident. And I know I can't hate you forever."

He grinned at me. "But you can try, right?"

I shrugged, light-heartedly. "A little while longer, at least. But why waste my energy on that, when I've got more important things to focus on?"

He looked at me curiously. "You know, you've really changed in the last couple of days. I was sure you would have ripped my head off by now. But you really have looked inside yourself a lot, haven't you?" I nodded. "I'm impressed. You're thinking like an adult, not a seventeen year old. Personal growth is a rare thing among our kind, Edward. You should be proud of yourself - I know Bella will be."

"Thanks."

He closed the door gently, and I heard him slump onto the floor against the wall in the hall. I knew I hadn't forgiven him per say, but accepting our altered situation was almost as good as forgiveness, right? I truly believed that my relationship with my brother would be saved.

I quickly scanned the minds of the rest of my family, and found them to be all fairly anxious to see Bella - almost as much as I was. It was encouraging that even Rosalie felt it. It made me positive about how well she would fit in to the family.

The 'she' in question stirred somewhat. I tiny puff of breath was exhaled, and her hand moved of it's own fruition to clench over her heart, as if trying to rip it out. I remembered these final stages from my own change so many years ago. I recalled how the pain had receded from the rest of my body, and centred itself in my chest, burning like wildfire as the muscle beat it's final death toll.

I listened carefully as her heartbeat became weaker, the time between each echoing thump growing wider and wider. I gripped her tighter, as her body spasmed shortly, and a last beat, loud and stronger than the rest, rang out. It didn't beat again. Her precious human life had ended right before my eyes.

I felt a sob building in my chest, and was about to let it out, when her eyelids began fluttering, ceasing any sorrow I felt. With a hefty exhale, they sprung open, darting around the room in front of her frantically before raising up slightly to meet mine.

"Bella," I breathed, my stomach tight, as I waited for confirmation that she remembered me.

Agonizing seconds ticking by without a sound from her. My fear that she didn't know who I was, that she didn't want me still, reared it's ugly head with a vengeance.

Until she spoke her first word, her voice clear and precise, and a perfect 'G' note.

"Edward."

I couldn't help myself. There was a strand of hair fluttering in front of my love's eye. It must have been hindering her now perfect eyesight. I carefully brushed it away, tucking it securely behind her ear. I breathed softly on her ear, causing goosebumps to form on her neck.

"My love."

Her face was soft, and her crimson eyes spoke of so much. She knew me. She was my Bella. Without waiting for permission, I leaned down to kiss her, feeling too much like Spiderman from my upside-down position, but not caring. She was awake. She remembered me. And she was mine.


	11. Next Step

_**Edward**_

I slowly pulled away from her, and examined her expression. I tried valiantly to ignore the color of her shocking eyes, and focus solely on what they told me. They filled quickly with shock and confusion. I felt like a boulder had fallen on me with the fear that I was wrong -- maybe she didn't really remember me after all. But she had said my name, I had to remind myself. I didn't know what to think.

_Don't do that again for a bit, man, _Jasper warned me. _That was sensory overload. Careful._

Before he had even finished his instructions, I knew he was right, and my impromptu kissing had been too much. She leaped through the air, her body acting on instinct, and backed herself into a corner, crouched defensively.

I was careful not to approach her, no matter how much I ached to do so. "Bella, honey? Are you okay? Talk to me."

I watched as she took in a shaky breath, and her eyes went wide and panicky. Too many smells, I realized. "It's okay," I told her, keeping my voice soothing. "If you hold your breath, you won't be able to smell anything. That should help."

She did as I suggested, but her posture was still tense. "Jasper!" I hissed. "Help." Seconds later, she relaxed visibly, and moved from her crouching pose, sliding down to the floor with her knees brought up to her chest. It broke my heart to see her so scared, so lost, but at least this was a start. She hadn't run from me -- yet.

I took a tentative step towards her. "May I..." I pointed towards the spot on the floor next to her.

Unwilling to waste any air on speaking, she just nodded, her eyes trained on mine as I slowly approached her, and dropped myself down by her. I was careful not to touch her, and decided to start very slowly.

"You know what's happened, right?"

Her brow crinkled slightly, but she nodded.

"Do you remember who I am?"

This time, an indulgent smile, and another nod.

"Do you remember your birthday party?"

She closed her eyes, deep in thought. "Jasper," she whispered, and quickly clamped her hands over her mouth, eyes wide, as she realized her mistake.

"It's okay, it's okay," I soothed, unconsciously reaching my hand out towards her, and having to pull it back at the last moment. It pained me deeply to keep my hands to myself, but my fear that anything scraping her skin would be too much, kept me in check. I knew logically that it was for the best, and my burning need to hold her would have to wait. Until she decided that it was okay, at least. Once I had her permission, I wouldn't be able to keep away, I was sure. "It was just one word," I explained. "You should have enough breath for a couple of sentences. Don't worry."

"Do you feel okay?" Her nod was hesitant, and was followed by pointing at her throat.

"It hurts?" Another affirmative. "We'll get that taken care of very soon. But one step at a time, okay? I don't want you getting scared and running away from me. I doubt even I could catch you."

I was watching her face so intently for any tiny change in emotion, tracing with my eyes how it softened slightly at my comment, it was a shock when I felt her small hand on my sleeve. "I won't run from you," her clear, beautiful voice proclaimed, and I was stunned into silence. If I could have shed tears, I believe I would have. I could listen to her speak for the rest of eternity without problem -- and the fact that I now could, amazed me. Watching her face still, I placed my hand over hers, and squeezed it, automatically keeping only the same amount of pressure I had always used with her. It took a beat before I realized that was unnecessary. Unable to keep the smile from flooding my face, I took the hand into both of mine, and clutched it at my normal strength. No broken bones from just being myself. No bruises. She didn't even flinch. It was liberating. No more holding back every time I touched her.

She grinned at me, and squeezed back - hard. It felt so surreal to actually feel her grip like this.

I flinched. "Ow." Who would have thought we'd see the day when Bella could hurt me? Not I.

She giggled until she ran out of breath.

"I'm so glad my pain amuses you," I grumbled.

She looked like she had the perfect comeback ready in her head, but didn't want to take the necessary breath to express it. A suggestion heard in my mind from Carlisle, though, seemed to have some merit. Now that the touch barrier had been broken without any adverse reaction from her, I pulled her easily onto my lap, facing me. She looked up at me questioningly.

"You trust me, right?"

A firm nod.

"Okay." I pulled her against my chest tightly. "Keep your face against my shirt, and take a deep breath. Hold it until you get used to the scent. It should drown out the other scents in the room." She did so faster than I expected, almost as if she'd been holding out from doing so.

Her expression changed to awe. "Wow," she whispered.

"Does that feel comfortable?"

"Yeah. Just confusing. It's like there's a rope tied around me that's pulling me outside."

I stroked her cheek. "That's your instincts urging you to hunt," I explained softly.

She grimaced slightly, and clung to my shirt, breathing it in again.

"Now try breathing normally. The main scents in the room are the two of us, and you should be able to smell Jasper, who's in the hall. The rest of the family aren't quite as strong, since they're downstairs, but you should be able to pick them out. Each one is unique."

I watched her movement as she breathed, tense at first, but then relaxing slightly with each inhalation. "It's so intense," she explained.

"Yes. You'll get used to it." I pushed an errant strand of hair off her face. "Talk to me, love. Tell me how you feel."

"I don't really know. I feel.... different. I still can't comprehend that I'm like you." Her face brightened somewhat as an idea occurred to her. "Could I beat Emmett in a fight?"

"Most likely," I smirked. I pressed my lips to hers briefly, and to my great pleasure, she didn't frighten. The electricity I felt between us while we were joined was intense, so I could only imagine how it must feel for her, being unaccustomed to her heightened senses.

"Cool," she grinned as we pulled apart.

"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, Bella," I sighed.

"Don't be silly. You can't protect me from everything. Something was bound to kill me eventually."

I cringed. "You never feel the way I expect you to. It's so frustrating."

"Why? What am I supposed to be feeling?"

"Angry? Sad? Betrayed? Hurt?"

She touched my cheek. "Is that how you felt when you were a newborn?"

I thought back to my own experience. "Confused mostly. I didn't believe in vampires as a human, so it was exceedingly difficult to believe that I was one. I guess the whole mind-reading thing made things worse, because I had all these people yelling in my head all at once, and didn't know how to ignore them. Angry that nobody has consulted me about whether I even wanted this. Sad that my parents were gone." I shrugged.

"Charlie," she gasped. "He must be worried sick. Is he okay?"

I kissed her forehead. "He's fine, love. He... uh... thinks we eloped. Carlisle and Esme visited him the day after.... you know."

"The day after I was bitten by a vampire?" She smirked at me. "Vampire, Edward. What we both are now. The first step is admitting it."

"Good to see you didn't lose your ability to mock in the change."

"Never." I watched her cringe dramatically as she swallowed.

"Let's go hunt," I suggested. "This is only going to get worse." I caressed her neck as I spoke.

Apprehension and fear flooded her face. "I... don't know..."

"You'll be fine. Trust me. Your body knows what to do."

She nibbled slightly on the corner of her lip nervously. "But... blood." She shuddered. "What if I faint?"

I couldn't help but roar with laughter, and I could hear the rest of my family laughing too, to various degrees.

She frowned at me, and pulled back off my lap.

"I'm sorry, love," I chuckled. "Firstly, you no longer CAN faint, and secondly, once you smell the blood, disgust will be the very last thing on your mind."

"I guess." I helped her to her feet, even though she was more than capable of leaping up herself. Old habits die hard.

I raised my voice slightly. "Alice, are there any humans around?"

After a beat, my sister replied. "Go east. You'll be fine there -- and there's more prey. But, she's erratic. Take Jasper with you."

On cue, Jasper creaked the door open. Startled, Bella fell into a defensive crouch, and let out a low growl. Jasper's influence was needed to relax her.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to alarm you."

She stood back up. "S... s... sorry, Jasper. I didn't even realize I was doing it."

I wrapped my arm around her waist, and breathed her in deeply. "They understand," I reminded her.

"You have no reason to be sorry," Jasper told her. "You've been a vampire for a whole fifteen minutes. I've been one for one and a half centuries, and there are still times when my body works before I realize it. Just look at what I did to you...."

Bella interrupted him before he could begin the long-winded apology he had been mentally practicing all day. "Don't."

Jasper, however, was more than eager to say his piece. His guilt was eating him from the inside. "But, Bella...."

"No," she growled. "Really, Jasper. You didn't truly want to hurt me, right?" He shook his head 'no'. "Then why should I be upset about something you couldn't control. Gosh, I don't even want to know how many times in the next few years I'm going to do something that requires an insane amount of apologies. I should be thanking you -- you've probably saved me from years and years of trying to convince Edward to change me."

Even after the fact, the thought of changing her ripped at my core, and I couldn't stop the growl that escaped me. A growl which just made both of them laugh. When they calmed down, two things happened instantaneously - Alice cried out "Bella, no!" from downstairs, and I felt my love tug on my shirt, swiftly ripping it at the seam.

"Oops," she giggled. "As much as I'd love to stand here and chat, that rope pulling me outside is getting stronger."

"Christ, I'm sorry, Bella. Let's go." I grasped her hand tightly for the first time, and led her to the window.

She looked at me questioningly. "What's wrong with the door?"

"Less distractions this way. Trust me. You're not going to hurt yourself. It's easy."

"Okay."

I pulled her close into my body, and relished the feeling of kissing her again. "Just keep reminding yourself that Jasper and I aren't going to hurt you. Try not to attack us."

"I wouldn't...."

"Yes, you will," I corrected. I could see Jasper nodding his head out of my periphery. "You won't be able to help it."

"I'll try to remember."

I reached out with my free hand, and slid the sliding glass open. "Ready, love?"

"Yeah," she whispered. I locked eyes with her briefly. She stepped forward, and bit her lip nervously as she looked down at the ground below us.

"Just take the next step," I murmured softly in her ear.

And she did. Pulling me along with her.


	12. Hunt

I reached out with my free hand, and slid the sliding glass open. "Ready, love?"

"Yeah," she whispered. I locked eyes with her briefly. She stepped forward, and bit her lip nervously as she looked down at the ground below us.

"Just take the next step," I murmured softly in her ear.

And she did. Pulling me along with her.

As we hit the ground, Bella's face contorted, and her grip on my hand became painful.

_Stress, _Jasper thought. _Trying to fight the bloodlust. _

I nodded briefly, and touched the small of her back reassuringly. Taking a deep breath, I realized just how strong her senses were right now, as the cervidae scent was weak to my nose -- several miles off at least. Her eyes flickered between the Bella I knew emerging from behind her crimson eyes, to the predator I was unsure I was ready to observe. Her body jerked involuntarily in the direction of her prey, increasing the anxiety Jasper was feeling from her, and silently communicating to me.

"Edward," she whispered in a moment of lucidity.

"It's all right, love." I squeezed her hand in mine. "Relax. Remember that we're here, and we aren't going to hurt you, and let your body take control. It knows what to do."

After a moment of uncertainty, she locked eyes with me, and took a deep breath. "Don't leave me, okay?" Her voice wavered somewhat.

"I won't. We'll stay just far enough away for you to not feel threatened. But I'll be with you the whole time."

She nodded.

"Breathe the scent in, and just feel," I instructed. As she did so, her eyes turned black almost instantly, and the monster was released. She growled low at us in turn, and set off at a sprint.

It took her a few seconds to get used to the feeling of running at that speed, but once she did -- Lord, was she graceful. She looked like she had been like this for decades. And fast. I wasn't used to struggling to keep up with anyone -- it had been a long time since we had a newborn around. I pushed myself to keep pace with her, staying twenty yards to her right, and ten yards behind. Her posture didn't change when I established this position, so I judged that she wasn't feeling threatened by my presence.

I could hear Jasper falling behind us, further with each step. _God, I hope she doesn't try to make a run for it,_ he shot at me. _She'd be in town and causing havoc before we caught up to her. _

I slowed my pace as Bella approached her target. She, however, didn't pause for a second. I didn't need to be able to read her mind to know that the predator was impatient, and just wanted the meal regardless of consequences. In her haste, two of the bevy heard her coming, and took off, alerting their friends in the process. The smallest buck had just started running when she leaped at it. She soared through the air for seeming eternity before landing cleanly on his back.

I regretted that I hadn't warned her that it would be much easier for her if she snapped his neck before starting to drink. Now it was too late. She would know now, as he struggled for a dozen seconds against her grip on his neck before slipping into unconsciousness - the brief bliss before death.

She drank greedily, and she was almost done when Jasper approached me, placing his hand on my shoulder. _It's not as weird seeing her do that as you expected, is it? _I shook my head slowly, and shrugged. He was right in a sense. I had imagined this to be worse than it actually was. But it still saddened me, making our new reality so much more real. She truly was one of us - her current diet proof positive.

The deer sucked dry, Bella dropped it to the ground, and stood up. Would she continue to hunt immediately, her first foray not having quenched her thirst, and instead awakening an obsession? Or would she be sated now? My inner questions were answered almost immediately. She absent-mindedly lifted her arm up to wipe her mouth, not really noticing anything but the lingering scent of the long departed deer around her. Glancing the blood on her sleeve, she gasped, and took a quick step backwards, away from the just-consumed carcass. Her eyes went wide, and my Bella was back, shocked by what she had done.

"Go," Jasper whispered, pushing me slightly towards her. _I'll stop her from breaking down._

I approached her slowly, trying to not startle her too much. "Bella?"

She turned towards me, but kept her eyes on the ground, unwilling to meet my eyes.

"Bella? Talk to me." I took the final step, and reached out to touch her shoulder, hesitant at first, but more confident when she didn't flinch away.

She grabbed at my shirt, and hid her face in my chest. "I knew what I was doing, but I had no control over it. I tried to stop, but I couldn't," she sobbed.

"That's okay," I cooed, rubbing her back in small circles. "Nobody would expect you to. It takes years to learn to override your instincts. Look at me -- I still struggled to keep my head around you. You did incredibly well, love. I'm so proud of you."

"Proud of me for killing an innocent animal?" she scoffed, still clinging to me for dear life. She had already ripped a hole in the fabric, but that was the least of my worries. We'd deal with Alice's wrath later.

"Yes. You stayed very calm. You didn't fall into a frenzy, taking down animal after animal. You didn't turn on me for following you. And you got him on your first go. Not too shabby at all."

She took a step back, and looked directly at me for the first time since finishing her meal. Skepticism rolled off her so strongly I didn't even need Jasper to decipher her expression.

I pulled her closer to me, and buried my nose in her long locks. "Do you want to try it again?" I whispered.

"Not particularly. I mean, it felt good - amazing even - but.... I don't know."

"I get it. I really do. It's completely up to you, but I think you should have a couple more. We need to leave as soon as we get back to the house. And the last thing I want is for you to attack a neighboring car as we're parked at a stoplight. If you're full, you should be okay."

"Is that a real possibility?" she gasped.

I shrugged. "Emmett did it. But then, that was in the days before parental control locking."

She nodded, deep in thought. "Oh wait! Where are we going?"

"Alaska."

"Oh. Where you went when you disappeared my first week of school?"

"Yeah. Same place. There are others like us up there."

"Why can't we just stay here?" she pouted, and I had to force myself not to instantly cave to her every whim. "I promise not to go into town."

I sighed, and ran my hands nervously through my hair. "Love, yes it's true that it's dangerous for you to be so close to town. Even with your promise, we can't guarantee that you won't run off without any conscious thought." I gestured towards the fallen beast at our feet, reminding her how she hadn't been able to control herself.

She stiffened, and her eyes darted around quickly, finding an escape route. Just as she tried to run, Jasper relaxed her enough that I could restrain her in a bear hug.

"That's not the only thing," I explained. "You being bitten." Jasper winced internally behind us. "It's broken the treaty with the Quileutes. We can't stay here anymore."

Her face crinkled in the most adorable look of confusion. "Um... okay. I guess. Do we really have to leave though?"

"We do," I nodded. "It's dangerous for us here now."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Bella, that is definitely not your fault, okay?" She looked like she wanted to protest, but just nodded meekly at my heavy tone. "Now, are you ready to try another deer? This one's friends didn't go too far away."

"Ugh," she groaned loudly. "Can you not talk about them having friends? I've spent the last 18 years ignoring the fact that what was on my plate had feelings, and parents. Ignorance is bliss, Edward. Let's keep it that way."

"Okay," I chuckled. "Let's go get you a nice juicy piece of venison. Is that better?"

"Much," she nodded, a grin spreading across her face, and filling me with joy.

Her hair whipped around her face in a strong breeze. The wind had been picking up gradually as the day wore on. It made me decide that she could have one more deer, and then we should go home. If the wind became any more intense, her senses were likely to go haywire again.

"I'll be behind you," I prodded. She turned quickly, planted a short kiss on my lips, and took a moment to orient herself again. My fingers went instantly to where she had kissed me, in horror. The taste of blood was strong from her mouth. As much as today was supposed to be all about new experiences for Bella, I hadn't considered in great depth the new experiences that I would be experiencing. Being kissed, albeit a peck, by a fellow vampire was a new experience in itself, but to be able to taste the blood on her lips floored me. I wanted nothing more than to tackle her to the ground and kiss all the residue out of her mouth. No wonder when the couples of my family went hunting together, they took a long time to return.

It was with great self-control, more-so than when I had kissed her as a human and craved her blood, that I let her go. She was already half-way to her intended prey when I fully came to my senses, and started following her. Finding her in a small clearing about a mile from her last meal, she had taken down a large doe, and was hungrily sucking at her neck. The wind was making her hair fly around her in the most ethereal fashion. I wandered casually towards her, not paying attention to where I placed my feet, and stepping into the clearing with the sharp snap of a twig.

Bella's head thrust upwards, and her dark eyes landed on me. _No,_ I corrected myself. This wasn't my Bella. This was once again, Predator Bella. And instantly, I knew that I had come too close to her dinner. She clutched the head of the animal to her chest, and narrowed her eyes at me. A loud, territorial growl rumbled from her chest, causing my legs to freeze.

"It's okay. I'm sorry," I told her, holding my hands out in front of me, and slowly backing away. "Jasper," I hissed behind me. "Help."

_I'm trying to stay out of her sight,_ he explained. _But I'm trying. She's just hard to get through to right now. Step back behind the tree line, _he suggested.

I nodded, and took three more steps into the shadows of a pair of Sitka Spruces. Her enhanced eyesight would still make my figure crystal clear, but I hoped that setting myself in the background would cause her less threat.

I stood like a statue, and Jasper spent himself trying to keep her from attacking me, and still it took several minutes, filled with growls, for her to accept that it was safe to finish her kill. As she drank, she kept her eyes trained directly on my face, her body language tense, as if just waiting for my strike.

As she finished, the wind picked up once again, this time stronger than before. It swept at us from the direction of Forks, whipping up leaves and dust in it's path. My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I reached for it slowly, watching the woman before me. I was putting the receiver to my ear, when Bella stiffened, nose high in the air.

_Noooooooo!_ Jasper screamed at me. _Tackle her! _

And he was out of his high hiding place like a shot to attempt to do the same. I scented the air as I leaped, and knew what she had smelled. The wind had been just strong enough for the scent of humans, even this far away, to reach us. I, myself, could only just make it out, and that was with great experience. But with her senses being stronger than ours right now, she hadn't needed experience to tell her what it was -- all she knew was that she wanted it.

Luck was on our side that newborns have very little thought for strategy. They head directly towards their target, whether for food or fight. And from our current positions, she had to get past both Jasper and I to get closer to what must be the most mouth-watering thing she had ever encountered in all her days -- human or vampire.

I managed to catch her legs as she began running, and she kicked out like she were in a life or death situation. She landed several hard blows to my head, causing me to loosen my grip enough for her to free herself. My second lunge at her was fruitless, and she made it ten yards from me before being tackled by Jasper. He held her long enough for me to catch up and wrap my arms tightly around her upper body. She squirmed and thrashed against us, and I knew without doubt that I would be unable to restrain her by myself.

As Jasper worked to calm her, all the while fighting the bloodlust that was rippling off her onto him, I held onto her for dear life. I looked into her face as often as I could, and would get a glimpse of eye contact before she ripped her eyes once more away from me.

"Bella, love, look at me," I demanded, trying to keep my voice gentle. She, instead, yanked her head away, and took a snap at me, white teeth flashing in the dying sunlight. "It's me - Edward. You don't want that, Bella. You would be devastated if you hurt someone, especially someone you know. Look at me. It's okay, you can relax."

_Keep talking to her._

"Bella, calm down. Stop breathing, love. You can do it."

It must have been Alice on the phone before, because I could hear my family running towards us. They were still a long way off, though - several minutes. If Bella couldn't pull herself out of her intense bloodlust, I wasn't sure if we could hold on that long.

"Bella, please come back to us. Hold your breath."

She glanced at me quickly, and I thought I saw a flicker of her inside. Just enough to reassure me that I could pull her out of her frenzy.

"Bella, hold your breath," I tried again.

She obeyed, just for a moment, but in that second she visibly relaxed - enough that I could move so I had a better hold on her.

"See? Doesn't that make you feel better? Do it again. Stop breathing," I instructed.

She pulled in a deep breath, keening with the want that ripped through her, and then held it like I wanted her to. As she did, the wind died down to a soft whisper, and the faint scent withered away to nothing. I could hear my family screaming in my head that they were coming to help, that they were almost there, that it would be okay if we just held her for a few more seconds. But, without the constant barrage of the smell of human blood, Bella had already relaxed considerably. I couldn't have been prouder. With just my prompting, she had pulled herself out of the fury of the bloodlust.

"I think we're okay," Jasper told us, studying Bella's face intently. "Do you think I can let go now?"

"Yeah, just stay close by."

With her legs released, I pulled her in closer to me, and kissed her forehead.

"Edward," she sobbed, realization of what she had almost done flooding her.

"It's okay, my love," I cooed. "You did well. Let's get you back to the house."

Our family slowed their steps as they came into view, and I caught their eyes in turn. "Thanks," I mouthed. They each nodded, and turned back towards the house.

I received no objection when I pulled Bella up into my arms to carry her home. Instead, she curled into my body tightly, and kept her breath held. The entire journey home, I whispered platitudes to her, telling her how proud I was, and how well she had done to not rip us to shreds when we attacked her.

All she did in reply was let out a small whine like a kitten.

It was my only hope that she wouldn't flagellate herself too much for one tiny slip. Nobody was perfect, and she shouldn't expect herself to be.


	13. Reacquaint

_**AN: **Hey guys and girls. (Actually, let's be realistic here. It's pretty much all girls, ain't it?)_

_Five things:  
1. The last chapter was the longest one so far. Proud of me? Well.... actually it only had half the number of reviews that the others have had. So, maybe not. *Le sigh* This is a big one too. Well, for me, at least.  
2. Real life is going to be hectic this week, so I can't guarantee when I'll finish the next chapter. Sorry!  
3. I considered keeping this going further than I had originally storylined, but I don't think I would have been able to do it justice. Therefore, there's only one more chapter left after this one. Two if I get too wordy.  
4. I don't own none of this. Or double negatives. SM owns the characters. I don't know who coined the phrase double negative.  
5. And on a much happier note..... have fun at the movies this weekend!_

_You all rock btw!_

* * *

_**Edward**_

She tugged on my shirt as we approached the house. Of course, her tugging, even with a concerted effort, was too hard, and we both heard the rip of the cotton. I stopped to gaze down at her in my arms.

"I don't think I can go in there," she admitted, hiding her face from my view at her confession.

I failed to understand what the problem was. She had been in the house dozens of times, and even on her first visit, she wasn't as nervous as she seemed right now. Surely a house full of vampires should be much more disconcerting for a human than a newborn vampire.

"Why?"

"Did you not just see how I acted out there?" she asked, her voice forceful. If she hadn't been afraid of causing a scene, I was sure she would be yelling.

"Yes...." I began. "It went as well as can be expected. You had one slip-up the whole time. Other than that, you were very well restrained. Impressive, even. I would hardly call that a failure."

"But..."

I held her closer to me. "They're not going to judge you, love. They're very excited about seeing you again. Every single member of our family has been doting on you the past couple of days, eager for you to wake up. Let's just go inside and see everyone, shall we?"

Her small face rumpled into a frown. "Just give me a second, okay?" she suggested in a small voice, so juxtaposed to how powerful she now was physically.

Placing her gently on the ground in front of me, I nodded, and waited while she composed herself. She tried taking several deep breaths, but quickly realized the myriad of scents she took in with each breath wasn't helping anything with calming herself.

I rubbed my hands up and down her arms as she stood, her lips moving slightly as if she were practicing a speech in her head.

_Dude, hurry it up, will 'ya?_ Emmett was getting impatient, and though the others were trying to be polite and keep their thoughts neutral, glimpses of that same impatience were sneaking through from several of them.

On my last trip down her arms, I took her hand in mine, and looked at her expectantly.

She sighed heavily. "Okay, I'm ready."

I couldn't stop the grin that broke out, and I pecked her cheek before leading her up the steps to the door. I strode forward to open it for her, gesturing her inside. Once over the threshold, she spun back towards me, nibbling on her lip nervously. I glided to her side, and brushed my thumb over her lip, causing her teeth to let go.

"Stop that," I instructed, keeping my voice soft. "You'll hurt yourself. Those things are rather sharp." I chuckled inadvertently.

"Habit," she shrugged.

I marvelled at her, at how much of her former self had been brought across through the change. It made me wonder how long she would retain these human traits before she became just like us, having to remind ourselves to fidget and so forth.

My eyes found hers, silently expressing my love for her, and checking her readiness for her upcoming meetings. Hand in hand, we wandered through to the living room, where our family sat waiting for us. Each one turned at our appearance in the doorframe, clown-like grins gracing their faces.

"Bella," Esme breathed as she rose to greet us.

As the rest moved to stand also, I glared at them, and mouthed "One at a time" over Bella's head, stopping them in their tracks.

Esme wrapped my girl in her arms, pulling her from me. I watched on, with a smile, as Bella breathed in deeply, memorizing my mother's scent. Holding her at arms length, Esme studied her intently, noting the changes.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

Bella simply shrugged. "Confused? Overwhelmed? I'm not sure."

"You'll be fine, my dear. Give yourself time to get used to your new body. And remember how lucky you are to have someone who loves you to take care of you during this transition." She smiled lovingly first at me, and then at Carlisle, her thoughts lingering fondly over how he had looked after her.

As Esme turned to retreat to the couch in order for someone else to have their greeting, Bella reached out to tap her shoulder. "Esme?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Charlie... tell me honestly. Is he okay?"

She considered the option of stretching the truth to appease the erratic and emotional newborn, but couldn't bring herself to lie to her face. "He's... distraught. That's the only way to describe it. He loves you very very much, and not knowing if he'll see you again..." She shook her head sadly. "I never thought I'd be witness to a man like Charlie Swan in tears."

Bella's mouth opened, moving to bit her lip once again, and it was only me nudging her that reminded her not to do it.

"He's stoic though," Esme continued. "He'll manage to live his life, even if you never leave his mind."

I nodded silently. In the few times I had encountered Chief Swan prior to Bella coming to Forks, the back of his thoughts were filled with his only child.

Bella looked up at the ceiling in thought. "Can you... can you tell him I called, and that I love him?" She blinked several times, and raised her hand to her cheek, wiping away the non-existent tears. She looked down at her fingers in confusion.

I rubbed her back soothingly. "No tears, remember?" I whispered in her ear.

She tried to smile back. "Guess I don't need to buy baby shampoo anymore, do I?"

The whole room stared at her in befuddlement.

"Don't worry." She shook her head in amusement. "It's a human thing."

She shrugged us off, and I watched her face as she remembered what had upset her, and her expression fell again.

"Love, when we get settled, I'll buy you some colored contact lenses, and we can talk to him on Skype. Alice can set it up for him before we leave."

My sister was nodding emphatically across the room. As Esme backed away, Alice could no longer contain herself, and bounced across towards us. Bella instinctively tensed at the small vampire coming at her at such speed, and I growled. Alice stopped in her tracks, and waited for Bella to relax before coming any closer.

_Do you want me to help?_ Jasper asked me.

I shook my head. We both needed to get used to not having Jasper's influence around us. I'd come to rely too much on him in the last couple of days, and in a few hours, I'd no longer have him around.

Her body shook slightly for around 20 seconds before calming, and managing to rid herself of the instinct to attack.

"Good girl," I said softly once she was back to herself. She glanced back at me with an incomprehensible expression. I glanced over at Jasper, questioning, unthinking of my personal pact to wean ourselves off his influence.

_'Uh... derision?' _he laughed mentally. '_ I believe she thinks you're being over-protective. You might want to watch that.'_

I rolled my eyes at him. I could not believe that when it came to Bella I could ever protect her enough. I had failed to protect her from this fate. There was nothing I wouldn't do to protect her from any potential threat from now on.

Alice held her arms out, waiting for Bella to come to her, and my love walked into her arms excitedly.

"I'm so glad you're awake, Bella," Alice screeched. "Having you here now, as part of our family, it just feels right -- you know?"

Bella nodded against Alice's shoulder.

"I knew you'd be like us eventually, no matter what Edward said." She glared at me, and I sighed. "Obviously I didn't see it happening like this..."

"Alice, don't, okay?" she groaned.

For once, Alice didn't push it, and just hugged her tighter. "This is fun," she giggled, "being able to hug her properly."

I grinned and nodded at her. "It IS somewhat liberating, isn't it?" I agreed.

I leaned in to Bella's ear. "Try hugging her tighter, love," I laughed.

Bella grinned as she did so, squeezing until Alice shrieked. "Ow. Bella!" she admonished.

Laughter rang out around us.

"You know, Bella," Alice giggled, "I can't wait until we live together. We'll have so much time for girl time -- makeovers, dress-ups..."

Bella groaned loudly. "Please no, Alice."

"Alice, calm down," I demanded. "You can't expect her to be able to sit still for hours on end undergoing your torture treatment. You know what her attention span will be like for the next couple of years."

"Whatever," she huffed, and reluctantly the girls pulled away from their embrace.

"My turn!" Emmett bellowed, wanting to jump from the couch and race across the room, but heeding caution after seeing how Bella reacted to Alice's eagerness. He strutted purposefully, and pushed Alice out of the way unapologetically. "Outta the way, shrimp."

"Emmett," Esme growled from her spot on the arm of the chair Carlisle was lounging in.

"Okay," he grumbled. "Get outta the way PLEASE, shrimp." There was no learning with him. One would think that he would have learned some manners after over eighty years on earth. From what I understood of his past, his mother would have whipped him silly for disrespecting a woman, regardless of the fact that he was twice her size.

"I missed you, Bella," he grinned, sweeping her up into his arms.

"What are you on about, Emmett, I've been here the whole time," she teased.

"Yeah. But it's hard for you to do anything funny when you're unconscious. You were kinda boring there."

"Um, yeah. Not so boring for me. Kinda painful."

His large hand gave her a noogie before I could realize what he was doing and stop him. "But it's all over now. No need to think about it again, kid."

"Kid?" Her eyebrows raised as she laughed at him. "I'm older than Edward," she pointed out.

"Physically, maybe," I scoffed.

She stretched her neck so she could see around our giant of a brother. "Still counts," she grinned at me. "Did YOU ever have an eighteenth birthday?"

"You only had half a birthday," I shot back, feeling strangely okay with joking about it.

Emmett gasped. "That's right! You guys can't leave until we finish the party! There're still presents to open, you know."

"How do you know I didn't cut myself on purpose just to get out of having a party?" she grumbled in a low voice a human wouldn't have heard, but we could hear perfectly clearly.

Jasper froze, tension rolling off him in waves. "Not funny, Bella," he growled.

"Sorry. Too soon, I guess."

Alice nodded her agreement, and bounced back to Jasper's lap, her proximity being better for his tension than any prescription of diazapam.

"So... presents?" Emmett prompted, practically bouncing with child-like excitement.

"If we have to," Bella gave in, a frown on her face.

"Uh, Emmett?" I interrupted. "You do realize that she can't use any of them? We're not taking the truck with us. And Carlisle and Esme's gift? Uh...no."

"She still gets something," he insisted.

Emmett rushed out the door to Bella's truck, and I sighed as I led Bella to sit in a vacant armchair. I listened, aggravated, as Emmett ripped the brand new stereo out of the dash.

With half the family out of the room, Rosalie sidled up to us quietly. "Uh, Bella?" Her voice was hesitant and her thoughts were vacillating, trying to find appropriate words.

Bella looked up, and smiled at Rose.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, and that you have to hurt your family and everything. It's a good thing that they think you've run away, I guess. My family never knew what happened to me, and I feel terrible for upsetting them like that. Even though it wasn't my doing. And..."

I could see what she wanted to do, and it filled my chest with pleasure.

"...it might not be so bad having another sister around." She reached down and wrapped one arm around Bella in a half-hug.

"Thanks Rosalie," Bella smiled.

"Emmett and I... We'll follow you two up to Alaska tonight. You'll need the help."

"You don't have to do that, Rose," I protested. "I should be able to handle things on my own."

"We want to. Besides," she smirked, "seeing you struggle with a newborn will be much more amusing than staying in Forks."

Her demeanor flipped back to haughty as the room filled with people again, and she resumed her place far away from us.

"Here, Bella," Emmett bellowed, holding out the car stereo, wires hanging loosely from it. "This is from me and Rose. Maybe you'll get a new car to put it in. I don't know. And, I, uh, may have broken the dash getting this baby out just now. Sorry." He hung his head.

"Doofus," Rosalie snarked from across the room.

He sulked away, and Carlisle gained my attention through his thoughts.

_'You can explain what Esme and I got her, and that we'll exchange it for something she can use.'_

I nodded to him, and wrapped my arm around Bella's shoulders. "Carlisle and Esme's gift is going to need to be exchanged," I explained, causing her to frown - most likely because of the trouble they would be going to for her. "They got tickets for the two of us to go and visit your mom. We'll think of a different trip to go on though. Maybe in a few months we could hire a boat and sail around the Alaskan coast. As long as we stay away from other boats, it'll be fine."

"You don't need to do that," Bella protested, her pleading eyes intent on my parents.

"It's our pleasure, dear," Esme responded kindly, leaving no further room for argument. She averted her gaze to Alice, who was practically vibrating out of her seat in anticipation of her turn.

I nodded at my sister, giving her permission to present her gift.

Alice walked over slowly, holding something behind her back and hiding her thoughts from me. Through the vision of those scattered around the room, it seemed to be a large book of some kind.

"Bella," she began formally. "Obviously, I had a little forewarning that this continuation was occurring." Bella rolled her eyes. "So, I've had some time to do this. I know you don't like having money spent on you, however ridiculous I find that to be, so it's somewhat handmade. And it's something that you can still use...." She trailed off, and pulled the book out from behind her back.

"No wrapping paper this time," she pointed out.

Bella took the gift from Alice's hands carefully, before passing it to me. "Can you open it?" she asked. "I don't want to break it."

I obliged willingly. Delicate paper was likely to be unsafe in Bella's hands. The spiral bound book's front cover was covered in a soft pink suede, and had her name appliqued on it. I slowly opened to the first page, and both my love and I gasped. The photos that I had requested Alice retrieve from Bella's house when she collected her clothes were collaged on the pages. Every second page was blank, but the whole book was bursting with pictures of her life from infancy up to the present day. The last few pages had pictures Alice herself had taken, and included a few of our family. The very last photo was a paparazzi-style shot taken as we arrived at the house for her birthday party. I must have been blocking out everything but Bella to not notice it being taken.

I fingered this particular photo reverently, outlining her face, and memorizing the expression it held - embarrassment at being the center of attention, and slight annoyance that we threw this party against her wishes. Her last minutes as a human were captured in the frame before me.

I leaned the few inches to kiss her temple, and saw her examining the same photo with fascination.

"Thank you, Alice," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

Alice smiled at her friend. "I thought when you have time, you could write your memories on the blank pages."

I gazed up at Alice, and catching her attention, used our silent form of communication. I made the decision to thank her profusely.

_'You're welcome,' _she thought. _'She deserves it. You both do.'_

"It's perfect," Bella murmured, and I couldn't agree more.


	14. Changed

**A/N: **Yes, I lied to you in the last chapter. This isn't the last update. There's two more (I think) left after this.

_**Bella**_

Of all the things I thought I'd be doing today, I never once expected this.

I had thought I'd be studying for the Trig test we have on Wednesday - well, that Alice will have on Wednesday, I guess. I had also, in my half-planned menu for the week, thought I'd be making spaghetti for dinner. I had been dreaming about this hand-squeezed tomato thing with fresh olives and parmesan for days. Not once did I think my dinner would consist of ... I cringed consciously at the thought, all while something inside me was drooling... blood. The only parallel I could see was that both meals ended with me looking the same. Every time I ate spaghetti, I ended up with red splotches on my shirt, and stained on my lips. So it was easy for me to pretend that the spots on my sweater were from a rich tomato sauce.

_Ooh, shiny! .... _

_Concentrate, Bella!_

Was I in denial? When Edward and his family kept saying that I'd handled the transition really well, keeping a sense of humor about the whole situation, was that just because I didn't truly believe that this was all real?

It's not like I could ask. Nobody in this house knew what this life consisted of before it happened to them. They would have been terrified. I was just happy that Edward was here, and he hadn't run away. Who would know if I was under-reacting? Whose experience did I have to compare to my own?

My conscious mind knows what I am now, but I can't guarantee that under the surface I know things have changed. I ran my hands up my arms, feeling their texture. They didn't feel like marble like Edward's used to. They just felt smoother and more toned. There was muscle rippling beneath the surface where before was a thin, soft layer of fat. My hand reached up to my chest, and my palm pressed in the middle. I waited, still half expecting the flutter of a heartbeat beneath my skin, but there was nothing. I pressed harder. Not a thing. My heart was completely still. Technically, no heartbeat meant that I was dead. But I didn't feel dead. I still felt like me, which I didn't expect, regardless of the fact that I tried to kill a man not three hours earlier. I wanted him more than a fat person wants cake. One second I had been having a calm - well, calm seems to have become a relative term - conversation, and the next I couldn't stop my body from taking over. I struggled to keep myself from running, but all my mental shouting was for nothing. If Jasper and Edward hadn't been there to restrain me, I would be a murderer. Just the thought of his scent filled my mouth with a liquid thicker than saliva, and tasted slightly of metal. Venom.

Shaking, I started pacing the room, trying to think of anything but that smell. That intoxicating, mouth-watering smell. I shook my head violently, attempting to dislodge any thought of him.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.

The waves of the ocean crashing against the stones at First Beach.

Advanced quadratic equations.

Being onstage at my first, and last, ballet recital, my vision blurring, and bile rising.

Edward.

I sighed gratefully. Yes. Edward. That helped.

Edward's smile. The way his lip trembled ever so slightly in the corner when I leaned in to kiss him.

Edward's hair, so much coarser to these new fingers, but still feeling like feathers in my hands.

Edward's chiseled arms, sparkling in the sun at the meadow.

Edward, who at this second was loading the remainder of our belongings into Carlisle's Mercedes. Even from this distance, I could hear every movement he made, every answer he mumbled to Carlisle's unspoken questions, every footfall against the gravel in digital surround sound. I could hear his hair rustling in the breeze - the same breeze that had been my undoing. As much as I longed to be out there helping him, or at least watching him, I knew it was safer for me here inside, where the scents of the breeze were muted by the double glazing. Safer for me or the general public, I wasn't sure.

I knew that I was a danger to those around me. I demonstrated that well enough in the forest earlier. I was a danger to the good people of Forks, who didn't believe in any of this supernatural stuff, and didn't deserve to be exposed to it, let alone be threatened by a bloodthirsty newborn vampire like myself. And I was a danger to the Cullens. Just me being here, in their home, the fact that I "ran away" while under their care, put suspicion on them. Yes, Carlisle and Esme had done wonderful jobs convincing my father that they were as much in shock as they were. But still.... a danger I was,regardless. It would only take one unbelieving thought for Charlie to start a quiet investigation into the family. I only hoped that Alice would see him coming before he could see anything incriminating. It was all my fault. They had been living normal (for them) lives before I came along. Now, the Chief of Police was connected to them indefinitely.

_Charlie...._ I fingered the picture of him in my new photo album. I couldn't remember this photo being taken. Did I remember it three days ago? He didn't seem that much younger than he was now. Was this a memory that had been lost into the fuzzy depths through my change? I didn't know, and it saddened me.

I hated more than anything to leave Forks -- the town of my birth, the town where my father lived, and more importantly, the town where I had met the love of my life. My existence. It physically hurt me to think of never coming back here again. But it was for the best. I couldn't be trusted around people. I couldn't be trusted at all, frankly. I couldn't even trust my own body. Just like back there in the woods, and I hated to think about that situation at all, my body was doing things that I didn't want it to do. It seemed to have a mind of it's own. Edward had told me several times about how vampires minds were a lot faster, and could process more things at once than a human brain. It worked well alongside how much faster their bodies responded. Then why did my brain not seem any different? Why was I such a freak? Apart from the noticeable difference in my attention span -- in that I didn't seem to have one -- my brain didn't seem any different to how it was when I was human. I didn't feel like there was an unlimited space up there to fill with unlimited knowledge. I didn't feel like I could have a physical fight with another being all while reciting Proust, and solving a Rubiks Cube. And really, that was the impression I had gotten from Edward as to his abilities. He never once had seemed fazed doing multiple things at a time. He was amazing, and I felt... not.

Yes, I could hear every sound within several miles radius. I could feel whispers of air brushing against my skin. I could taste flavors on the wind. But still, next to Edward, and the rest of the family, I already felt like a failure at being a vampire.

I was scared. Scared that Edward would realize that I wasn't special - I couldn't even multi-task properly - and he would leave me. Would he leave me out there in the middle of nowheres-ville, Alaska? Would he dump me with some passing nomads, refusing to look after me anymore? How could I prove to him that I was worth all the time and trouble I had caused him?

I threw myself down on top of the comforter adorning his -- our -- bed, jostling the photo album slightly. I could feel every fibre under my fingertips, which wasn't something I enjoyed. I had liked that these satiny covers felt so smooth. Like glass. But now with my vampire sense of touch, I was suddenly hating the feel of it. _Bring back that beautiful feeling of satin_, I wanted to cry out loud. Pulling my legs up to my chest, I curled myself up into the ball that I had enjoying since waking from the fire. I felt safer wrapped up in my own arms. They were surprisingly warm and comforting.

I heard my beloved sigh three stories below me, and come through the door, closing it quietly.

I heard him say a simple "Yes" to Carlisle, most likely in response to an unspoken question.

I heard him as he took the stairs six at a time, and flew up to this room.

He knocked hesitantly. "Bella? Can I come in?"

I forced my face back into a happy expression, and relaxed my hostile position. "Of course you can," I fake giggled. "It's your room, isn't it?" Why was I feeling so upset? I loved Edward, and he made it very clear that he loved me. Except for a brief moment in the hospital in Phoenix, he hadn't shown any sign of ever wanting to leave me. Why would he now, when we were the same?

"Are you okay, love?" He perched himself on the bed next to me.

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Really?" He frowned at me. "Because Jasper would disagree with you."

"I'm fine," I repeated.

"No annoyance? No confusion? No self-deprecation? No sadness?" His eyes studied my face carefully.

"N...n...no?" _Oh, for the love of... Now I'm on the verge of crying. Or whatever I'm capable of._ I'd been a vampire for less than eight hours, and was already driving myself crazy with the constant mood swings.

"Bella?" His hand extended towards me to stroke my hair. I became entranced by the curvature of his forearm as it floated in front of my face. Each individual hair seemed to be incandescent in the lamp light. As he moved his hand through my hair, causing the most delicious friction of locks and fingertips against my scalp and cheek, I could see the individual ropes of muscle moving under his ivory skin.

My eyes trained unerring on the minute twitches of his arm, my own hand reached out of it's own fruition to touch the object of my concentration.

"Bella?" My name was ringing from a set of bells. Bells I recognized. _Oh! _That was Edward's voice. I had forgotten what I was doing for a second there.

I gazed up at my Adonis. "Yes...?" _Did he ask something?_

"Tell me what you're scared of?" His request came out as a question.

My mouth reacted before my mind could stop it, blurting out my most recent fear: "That you won't love me like this, and you'll leave me." I gasped when I realized I'd actually said it, clamping my hands over my mouth.

He pulled me tight to him, and I revelled again that he didn't have to treat me like a china doll. "Never, ever going to happen. I love you, and as long as you want me, I'll be right here." He pecked me on the lips, and I relaxed somewhat. "And sometime soon, once everything has calmed down, I hope that you'll let me make it official."

I pulled back, and looked at him in confusion. "Make what official?"

He just grinned at me, squeezed my hand, and stood up, leaving me confused. "It's time to leave, my love. They're waiting downstairs to say goodbye. Alice has to be at school, and Carlisle at work, soon."

"Oh, yeah." I hadn't given any thought to the real world that had continued to function without me in it.

I stood, Edward refusing to release my hand, and took a last look around the room, basically the same as it had been the first day I had visited, with the addition of this bed, and several photos of me.

"Everything else will get brought up when the others move," he reassured me quietly. "We need to keep it here for now - in case of any nosy human visitors."

"Like my dad," I supplied.

"Yeah," he shrugged.

I followed the tugging on my hand out the door, closing it reverently behind me with an unspoken goodbye.

"Make what official, Edward?" I repeated as we descended to the first floor.

He just chuckled, shaking his head. I doubted I'd manage to get any information out of my stubborn vampire.

Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Jasper were all waiting for us in the foyer. I could hear Emmett and Rosalie out in the driveway, waiting with their cars.

"See ya, Bella... Edward," Jasper muttered, giving Edward a manly one-armed pat on the back, and hugging me briefly. He gave me an apologetic look.

"I know," I nodded.

Before I had even looked away, Alice has wrapped herself around me, squeezing tightly. "We'll come up and visit all the time," she told me. "And I'll call you heaps - you know, just to check in. And tonight, I'll start ordering you clothes to get sent up there. You need a whole new wardrobe, Bella." Her over-excited tone faded. "But I'll still miss you. Call me when you get there, okay?"

I nodded, swiping my face where my tears should have been falling. Finding my cheek completely dry frustrated me to no end. I was annoyed both that I couldn't cry, and that I still didn't remember that I couldn't cry.

_Woah,_ I thought. _Mood swing, much?_

Before my mind had a chance to process what I was doing, I felt my body soaring across the room. I landed, crouched, teeth bared. _What the...??_

Ugh. I just get annoyed with myself, and all of a sudden I'm trying to defend? From myself, no less. It was becoming ridiculous.

"Sorry," I whispered. I could feel Jasper's influence washing over me slowly.

"What happened?" Edward prompted, approaching me slowly, his hands raised.

"I don't know," I frowned. "I was annoyed because of my killer mood swings, and then I couldn't stop it."

The two in front of me nodded sympathetically. "Makes sense," Edward mused. "Annoyance caused a defensive reaction. The body can't yet determine WHAT you're annoyed at." He smirked. "You should have seen Esme, love. She got annoyed with me for tracking mud into the house, and destroyed half the living room in her rage. She was even MORE annoyed when she realized what she had done, and ripped down a good portion of the wall in the rage that resulted from THAT."

I frowned at him. "What? Are you saying that every time I get an extreme emotion, I'm going to ruin our possessions?"

He shrugged non-committally.

"Are you sure Jasper can't come with us?"

He reached me. "I'm sure he would if you asked, but you haven't seen Jasper when he's separated from Alice for any period of time. It's not pleasant. And Alice has to stay here at school to keep the cover story. I'm sorry, love." I heard Jasper let out an indignant sniff.

"At least tell me you're not bringing anything valuable with you?"

"They're just THINGS, Bella. We can always buy more possessions. We just need to concentrate on keeping YOU safe."

I desperately wanted to start berating myself for my over-reaction, but that could just start the cycle over again. _Calm, Bella, _I told myself over and over as I approached Esme for her goodbye.

"I have complete faith in you, Bella. You'll be fine up there." Her hands rested on my shoulders, as she looked directly into my eyes. "Edward will look after you wonderfully, I know -- that's what he was born to do -- you just have to trust in him." I glanced behind me at the adoring look on his face, and vowed that I would at least try.

_Breathe, Bella. Keep your emotions in check._

"We'll come visit soon. The boys like the hunting up there very much. Now we have more of an excuse to go," she whispered to me.

The hug she pulled me into was as maternal a hug as I could ever remember receiving. I could practically feel the love rolling off her.

_Calm._

Carlisle, despite the emotion in his eyes, attempted to keep his demeanor business-like. I was glad - I didn't know how much more emotion I could handle before flipping out again. He handed each of us a brand new cellphone. "Just in case your father does try to trace your number," he explained. All their numbers were pre-programmed in, as well as numbers for some people I didn't know. I could only presume that these were the people they meant when they referred to having "family" up in Alaska.

I scanned the names curiously.

"You'll meet them when we are up there," Edward explained, his mouth only centimeters from my ear.

"We'll look out for Charlie," Carlisle reassured me. "Maybe have him over for dinner a few times."

Emmett overheard this, and guffawed loudly. "Ha! Jasper, you have to eat human food!"

I looked down at my fingers. "Thank you," I whispered. "He likes steak, and meatloaf, and lasagna, and fried fish.... and...."

Esme placed her arm around my waist. "Why don't you send me some recipes he likes, and I'll make sure his freezer is always full. Well, I can try to, anyway. I never poisoned you, did I?"

I nodded, smiling gratefully at her.

As Esme released me, Edward resumed her position. "Let's go, love. We want to be away from Forks before the sun starts to rise." I glanced at the time on my new cellphone. 3am.

He escorted me out to the car, holding my door open like he always did.

With a last wave at my new family, and a last look at the house I had grown to love, and we were driving at speed down the long winding drive, two cars close behind us.

As we turned onto the road, I looked over at Edward next to me.

"Edward?"

"Yes, love?" He squeezed my hand.

"Make what official?"


	15. Gossip Girl

_**Alice**_

It felt strange walking into school alone. It had been a very long time since I had attended _any_ school without another member of my family by my side.

I paused before entering my first class, pulling out my phone. '_I really wish you were here with me. xx'_ was speedily sent to Jasper. He replied almost instantly. _'I'll meet you the second the final bell rings. ILY.'_

The hardest thing about my gift, I find, is knowing exactly when something you don't like is coming, but having no way of changing it. What waited for me through these doors, was one of those things. The rumors of Edward and Bella's elopement were running rampant through the town, and especially through the students of Forks High. I desperately did NOT want to face the questions right now. Unfortunately, I'd already missed a day of school, and now, with Bella on her way to Alaska, I had no reason to stay home. The vultures needed to be fed.

Centering myself, I pushed the door open, and glided to my seat, careful not to make eye contact with any of the 12 pairs that were trained on me. Each debated internally with themselves, desperate for information, but not wanting to speak first. I was, after all, still a Cullen -- without Bella's influence and mediating presence, they were back to unconsciously distancing themselves from me.

Surprisingly to everyone but me, Angela was the first to approach me.

She crouched down beside my seat, arms resting on my desk. "Is it true? Did they elope?," she asked in a soft voice.

I was careful to fidget in my seat as I nodded sadly. Anticipating what would be needed, I pulled the sleeves of my sweater down over my hands. It almost broke my heart to stretch out the beautiful imported merino wool, but Angela's needs came first.

A tear ran down her cheek. "She left without even saying goodbye," she whispered.

Hands still covered by my sweater, I placed them softly atop Angela's. "I know how you feel. I thought they told me everything, and all we got was a short note." A little white lie never hurt anyone. "Neither of them will answer their phone." I plastered my face with the most heartbroken look I could muster. It wasn't too much of a stretch.

"Oh, Alice." I stiffened somewhat as the human wrapped her arms around me. _Soft, soft, soft,_ I chanted to myself as I hugged her back, hoping like hell that she wouldn't notice how hard my body was. Luckily, her grief seemed to render her clueless.

I pulled away, and slumped in my seat, mirroring what I had seen hundreds of introverted students before me do.

"Are they coming back?" Jessica asked from two seats away.

"I wish I knew," I mumbled just loud enough for her to hear, and stared down at my hands.

As class began, they seemed happy enough to have their answers. But I could still feel every eye in the room on me. I needed to be very careful. My family and I were even less inconspicuous than before.

When the bell for lunch rang, I made my way to my car before using my phone. I couldn't risk anyone overhearing who I was speaking to.

Edward picked up after the second ring. "Hi, Alice."

"How is everything? Where are you now?"

"What? You don't know?"

I sighed. "I have better things to do than keep track of your every move. I've spent the day answering a gazillion questions about you two."

I fiddled with the rearview mirror, and checked my make-up.

His eye roll was practically audible. "Alice, do you have information for us, or is this just a social call?"

"A bit of both. Thought you'd like to know that if you stop on the eastern side of Glacier Bay to hunt, you won't encounter any humans. Just keep her away from the main trail - just in case." I paused to reapply my lip gloss. "Now, give me to Bella."

Edward's growl echoed through the car, and I could hear Bella giggling in the background. That pleased me. At least she was in a better mood than she was back at home.

"Alice?" Her voice was clear and sweet. It still screamed *Bella* but it obviously belonged to one of our kind.

"How are you? I miss you already," I sighed. "It is horrible here without you, you know."

"Is there a lot of gossip?"

I considered lying, but couldn't make myself do it. "Yeah, but I think I have it under control. Angela misses you."

She groaned. "Ugh! I hadn't thought about the people at school. I had only focused on how Charlie would feel. Are you serious that people miss me?"

I burst out laughing. "You are pretty miss-able, Miss Bella. You can't imagine how it would tear our family apart if we had to leave you."

"Yeah, sure." She giggled again, and I grinned at the sound. "Are you coming up this weekend?"

"I plan on it. I'll make sure Jasper comes up too. We love you, Bella."

She paused. "Uh... Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you go visit Charlie sometime this week? He does love you."

"Sure. Of course, honey. I'd love to." I quickly scanned their immediate future, and saw how close they were to their hunting location. "Now, your throat must be hurting..."

"Um... a little bit, but it's bearable."

"Go hunt. But stay with Edward. And keep Emmett with you too. I'll talk to you again later."

"Okay! Ooh, we're here. Bye!" The phone went dead.

I looked up at myself in the mirror. "I'll miss you guys," I whispered to my reflection.

There were some days I was grateful for not being human. Today was one of those. I didn't have to worry about the tears that would have been streaming down my face, ruining my look, were I subject to such an action. Instead, I could just plaster a slightly morose expression on my face - just enough for a girl whose brother had recently run away - and make my way back to the bustling cafeteria to make a short appearance.

As I paid for a can of soda - an easy prop to fake with - I looked around the room. I had no idea where I should sit. Was I welcome at our normal table without Bella there as buffer? Should I go back to the table we occupied last year, which was shockingly empty - maybe we were scarier than we thought if nobody would even sit at our old table.

I started to walk towards the empty table when I heard my name being called from across the room. Angela was waving me over, smiling.

"Hey, don't sit by yourself. There's a seat here for you," she told me, leaving no room for argument. I shrugged, and obliged, sitting awkwardly as all eyes rested on me.

"Come on, Alice," Lauren whined, a sneer creeping over her face. "Dish the dirt. She's knocked up, isn't she? What other reason could there be?"

"Being in love, maybe?" I muttered. "And no, she is not pregnant." I let that information settle over them. They would need to come to their own conclusions, but I wasn't going to announce to the world that they had been chaste this whole time.

"Oh, come on," she continued. "You and Jasper have been together a lot longer, and you haven't run off to get married. There's gotta be more to it than that."

_Idiot._

I could feel anger seething just below the surface, and forced it down quickly. Losing my temper in a room full of humans wouldn't end well. My eyes flickered with several different visions of consequences of my actions as my tension levels fluctuated. Each forced more suspicion on our family.

_Breathe._

"Look, Lauren," I snapped, careful to keep my teeth hidden behind my lips. "Right now you know almost as much as we do. I don't KNOW why they felt the need to leave. How could I know what they were thinking? I'm not a mind-reader." I internally smirked_. Yeah, that's Edward. Not me_.

The whole table stared at me in shock. Even though I knew that my stress levels were off the charts, and my temper was in short supply today, _I _was surprised at how harshly I spoke to her.

As everyone around me pretended to be overly interested in their lunches, I pulled out my phone to text Carlisle.

_'Are you sure we can't just leave now? Fuck appearances. These people are driving me crazy.'_

His response was fast.

_'Language, Alice. You know exactly why we can't leave.'_

_'Can I at least kill some of them -- the ones who are spreading rumors?'_

It was not Carlisle who the next message was from. Esme's name flashed up on my screen.

_'Don't even joke about things like that, young lady.'_

Sighing, I replaced the phone in my purse, and tried to think of a way to convince them to follow the others up to Alaska.

When the last bell rang, it took all my self-control to move at a human pace out to the parking lot. I knew Jasper was going to meet me there, but for some reason, I couldn't see him using my visions. When I turned the corner, and saw him leaning casually against the car, having run here, I threw myself into him arms.

"Miss me much?" he chuckled, before registering my mood. "Bad day, huh?"

"I hate teenagers," I muttered against his neck.

"No you don't," he argued.

"I do today," I pouted in return. "They're .... mean to Bella."

"All of them?"

"No," I sighed. "Just a few. But I was this close to snapping someone's neck."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I don't think your day is going to get any better."

I pulled away from him to look at his face. "Why? What's happened?"

"Take a sniff."

I did as he instructed, almost choking when I smelled the horrible smell coming from the tree line. "Werewolf?" Considering how many humans were around us, I forced myself to stand up straight, even though my body was instinctively falling into a defensive stance.

He nodded. "It's not the one that attacked Rose, though. This one is new. And can you smell who's with him?"

He was right. That wasn't the scent that Rose came home covered in when she was hurt. The scent next to the wolf was interesting. It was slightly lupine, but had a much stronger human scent.

"What the hell do they want?" I groaned. "I can't see anything."

Jasper wrapped his arm tighter around my shoulders. "Guess we wait and find out." He quickly flipped his phone out to inform Carlisle of what was going down.

The parking lot was almost empty when the two figures approached us. Jasper was sure to whisper to me that the younger of the two was having trouble controlling his emotions. The second man was much, much older. In fact, he was probably born before me. There was no frailty in his stance though - he held himself like a king. I surmised he must be an elder of the tribe, and from the smell, it was possible in his younger days he was a shape shifter himself.

They stopped about ten yards from us, and Jasper pushed me slightly behind him.

The old man began to talk, the younger one standing to his side, his bulk giving him the air of the perfect bodyguard. "You broke the treaty."

"We had no choice," Jasper responded. "She was going to die anyway." They didn't need to know that the reason she was dying was because of a vampire attack in the first place.

"Death would be preferable over becoming a filthy bloodsucker," the big one scoffed, shaking somewhat.

Jasper sent out a wave of calm. "She didn't think so. She had been rather outspoken in her desire to join us."

"Regardless," the old man interjected, his voice soft and smooth like velvet. "The treaty has been violated."

"And one of your own put upon an unprovoked attack on my sister. On our land, no less. How is that not violating the treaty also?" My man was so perfect in these situations, assessing the mood, and pulling back if necessary. "Look. We know that we need to leave the area, and we are doing that. Half our family already has left. But it would ruin our cover story to just up and leave now. You should understand the need for that. We plan to stay until Alice has graduated, and leave at the end of the school year. We would like this to happen with the blessing of your people. There is absolutely no risk to the people of Forks. I promise you."

Both Quileutes looked skeptical.

"I will speak with the rest of the elders, and send word. But any sign of trouble, and I won't hesitate to send the pack out to kill you all."

Both Jasper and I nodded silently, and the two left, the younger one not turning his back to us as they walked away.

It was the next morning when a young Native American boy with long, straight, black hair, and dimples that rivaled Emmett's, hand delivered a note to Carlisle. He looked about Bella's age, and vaguely familiar. I thought I might have seen him talking to her shortly after she moved to Forks. He looked at me curiously when I opened the door to retrieve his letter.

As he turned to leave, he paused. "Is this where Bells' boyfriend lives?"

I nodded, unsure exactly how privy he was to the realities of our situation.

"And he's gone too?"

"...Yeah..."

"Oh. Sorry." He bit his lip, just like Bella used to do. "I hope they come back soon. We all miss her."

"Me too." I looked the boy up and down. Although adolescence was making him fill out quickly, he didn't seem to be a threat. "If they call, I'll let her know you asked about her. What's your name?"

He grinned widely. "Jake. Jacob Black." He turned, and quickly ran back to the ancient pick-up that was idling in the driveway.

As he drove away, I opened the note.

_'You gain your reprieve for now, Cullen. But we are watching you. Leave ASAP.'_


	16. Eternity

_**A/N: **This is it. The last chapter. I hope nobody is too mad at where I've left it, but it is where I had planned to finish from the very beginning. _

_I have to thank everyone who has listened to me complain, and those who have had unwavering support. Also every person who has reviewed - you guys rock!_

* * *

_**Edward**_

As we approached our Alaskan house, I took the time to take in my surroundings. We had spent a lot of time in this area in the past decade, and it still filled me with a feeling of awe. Even now, in September, the mountain range running parallel to the highway was topped with snow, the white a perfect contrast to the cerulean blue of the wide open sky. The grasslands we were whizzing past were dotted with the azure and coral hues of wildflowers. I vowed to show Bella soon the wonders that I knew as well as I knew the contours of her face. I knew without a doubt she would appreciate this place as much as I did. I could show her the prey available round here -- so different to what she had caught down in Washington. I could race her to the top of the mountains. I could share with her the spectacle that is the Northern Lights. Long term, I'd love to be able to show her the Southern Lights too, and how different the two are.

But for now, this was our home.

I reached over the center console, and squeezed her hand, the skin like satin to the touch. "Are you well, my love?" I pulled her hand up to my lips of kiss tenderly.

She nodded slowly. "Is it possible to drink so much you explode?" Her free hand rubbed over her stomach.

I chuckled softly. "Feeling sloshy?"

"Yes," she gasped. "That's exactly it. I couldn't think of the word."

"You liked the black bear?"

She nodded. "Very much."

"I'm glad. Don't get too attached though. We don't want to single-handedly wipe out the population."

"Did you see Emmett with that big brown one? It was so funny!"

"He's a child who needs to learn not to play with his food," I grumbled, causing bell-like laughter to burst forth from her mouth. It was music to my ears. The days of hearing her moan and scream had really affected me.

What I had really noticed back in the park, was that Bella had watched Emmett with his prey without once trying to claim it for herself. That seemed to show a great deal of humanity. She managed to observe as someone out having fun with her friends, and not as a killer -- selfish and possessive of each possible kill.

We approached a rest stop, and on inspection, it seemed the perfect place to stop. It was devoid of humans, as the last twenty miles had been, and there was significant shade to keep us out of the sun if anyone did approach.

Indicating early, so Emmett would see my intentions, I pulled in and parked. Bella looked at me, curious.

I opened her door for her before she had taken in our surroundings, extending my hand to her. She took it, almost shyly, and allowed me to lead her to the bench overlooking the plains.

"It's so beautiful," she breathed as she took everything in.

I couldn't take my eyes of her profile. "Yes, it is," I smiled. Under it's own fruition, my finger started tracing a line down her cheek from her eye to the corner of her lips. It astounded me how our skin tones matched without the aid of the small amount of pigment that had graced her human skin. Even more beautiful was how we were both sparkling in the sunlight. Until this very moment, I had failed to see what she had meant when she said that my skin was beautiful when it sparkled. Looking at my beloved sitting here now, her skin like diamonds in the bright sunlight, I understood completely. She had always been the perfect specimen of woman before her change, and her new-found iridescence made her even more so. How could I have ever believed that it was further proof of my monstrosity?

She took my breath away. Every second.

"What are you thinking?" she asked, not taking her eyes from the vista.

"Isn't that what I normally ask you?" I chuckled.

She simply shrugged.

"I was thinking how amazing you are," I confessed.

She hung her head, and if she still could, she would be blushing crimson. "I think you're somewhat biased."

I gripped her hand strongly in mine, and finally turned my head out to admire the view.

"Edward," she began, her voice hesitant.

"Mmm?"

"What did you mean yesterday? When you said that you wanted to make something official."

I grinned. "You really are something. You know that?" She looked at me, confused. "Any other girl in the world would have known what I meant instantly -- some even jumping to that conclusion prematurely."

"What conclusion?"

"Well, the fact that you don't know what I mean tells me you're not ready for it yet. Some day soon, I want to marry you, Bella."

"Oh," she gasped.

"Hadn't even crossed your mind?"

"No. We've only known each other for what... eight months?"

"Well," I shrugged, "when you know, you know. As much as I didn't want this fate for you, it does mean that there is no longer anything standing in the way of 'us'."

"What? Because now you can't break me?"

"That's a part of it. But also because there is nothing that would have made me ask you to give up your life just to be with me. I had a long time to think this through in the last couple of days, and I've come to realize that I can't fight it anymore. I shouldn't. Fate, or God, whatever force decides these things, has made it practically impossible for me to be without you. You being turned is just another one of those things -- like you being seated next to me in Bio -- that cemented things for us. As much as my brain wants to fight it, I can't do anything but embrace the changes that have brought us to where we are now. Jasper helped me to see that."

"Jasper?" she laughed. "So you're not only talking to him after what he did, you're also taking his advice to heart?"

"Yeah," I grimaced. "As much as I wanted to rip him apart, he's been an amazing help, and... I can't deny his logic. He's too damn smart."

Her fingers traveled up and down my exposed arm. "I never thought I'd see the day when Edward Cullen would lose his stubbornness. I'm glad you two are getting along, though. I would hate to be the reason you fell apart."

"None of this is your fault. You know that, right?" My chest ached at the thought.

My eyes raked over her features as she gazed thoughtfully out across the landscape. "Edward, I have to take some amount of responsibility for my own fate. Yes, it was Jasper who attacked me, but it was my clumsiness that spilt blood in the first place. And every time I entered your house -- hell, every time I was around you -- I knew that I was putting myself in danger. I could have stayed away, but i didn't. Just my presence must have been provoking Jasper constantly. After how I reacted to just the faint scent of a human, I can understand it must have been impossible for him to resist."

"You are too selfless for your own good, Isabella Swan."

She shrugged shortly. "I call 'em like I see 'em. And I know that I'm at least somewhat culpable."

My hand inched slowly to rest on her knee, exposed as it was by the short skirt my sister had left in the back seat for her to change into after hunting. The dark denim was in stark contrast to her lily-white skin, which, like the rest of her, was shimmering gently in the weak sunlight. I squeezed her knee in what I hoped was a comforting gesture, and settled myself so our sides were flush. The proximity we were now able to keep startled me sometimes. Here I was, sharing a bench with my beloved, inhaling her scent, touching her body, and feeling not a flicker of the burn I had become accustomed to. It both joyed and saddened me. Her smooth skin rippled under my touch.

"I can hear something," she whispered. The stillness of the area was working in our favor. It was easy to hear anyone coming in our direction. Two seconds after Bella pointed it out, I could hear the vehicle approaching also. Rosalie and Emmett, leaning against their cars across the lot, both had their ears pricked up.

"Pick-up," Rose muttered. "Ford. 1987. Windows are rolled up."

"Eight point two miles away," Emmett added.

"Thanks for the running commentary, guys," I laughed as I took Bella's hand and led her back to the car, hand on the small of her back. "We should go, Love." She nodded in acquiescence. Closing the door behind her, I resisted the urge to prompt her to buckle her seatbelt. How long would it be until I lost those old habits?

As I pealed back out onto the highway, the truck was still five miles behind us.

"Thanks," she whispered, her hand reaching over to grasp my own.

My eyes left the road ahead to peer at her features. "What for?"

"For getting me out of there before I could smell them. I don't trust myself."

"You're welcome. I wouldn't put you in danger, you know."

She sighed. "Yeah, I know. And it's not even like I'm thirsty or anything. Just.... you know how at Thanksgiving, you eat so much it feels like you're going to be sick, and you can practically feel your stomach growing by the second. But then the pie gets brought out, and you just HAVE to have at least one piece, because it looks so good.... That's how I feel right now."

"Well, I can't say I fully comprehend your analogy, but the sentiment... yes," I chuckled.

"Are we almost there?" Her gaze was taking in the scenery out the window with renewed vigor.

"About three hours, I estimate, and then we'll be at our new home."

"Our new home," he breathed, the reality seeming to hit her fully.

I squeezed her hand comfortingly before releasing her, and reaching over to the back seat. I grasped the familiar folder, and pulled it over to the front. Handing it to her, she seemed confused, until she opened it to find writing paper and pens. "Why don't you write a letter to Charlie, telling him you're really okay? We can give it to Alice to pass it on to him when she comes up on the weekend."

"That sounds like a good idea," she smiled. "But you'll read over it, right? Make sure I haven't forgotten some details of my old life?"

"Of course." I took a hair-pin corner wide and fast. "Just remember to say that we're in Nevada."

She settled into her task quickly, and her concentration astounded me -- she would go several minutes at a time before her mind drifted away, or she got distracted by something out the window. I remembered my first few days in this life, and how I couldn't keep my mind on one thing for more than twenty seconds at a time.

I continued to drive, urging the car faster towards our destination, and our new life. In my opinion, as hard as it was to take her away from her family, we couldn't get there fast enough. Everything that Alaska promised for us lay ahead. In time, once I sensed that she was ready, I would be asking the woman next to me to be my wife. It pleased me no end that she hadn't balked at the prospect of matrimony when I mentioned it earlier. My initial reaction was that finally she would be mine, but that old-fashioned idea didn't sit well with me as I studied her face.

No. She would never be mine. It was impossible to corral a spirit such as hers, and to claim ownership of her person. Truly, it is I who would forever belong to her. My heart, the soul she constantly claimed I possessed, my body -- it all belonged to her. No question. Relocating to Alaska was nothing to me, because without doubt, I would follow her to the ends of the earth. To the stars if she requested.

She was my everything, and it was hard to believe that mere days ago, I had deemed this life -- my life -- forbidden to her. In the overall, she seemed to be happy. She fitted in so well, it was like this was the existence that she was destined to live. How could I have even consider not letting the change occur when she was bitten?

I leaned over, and traced the healed silver bite mark on her neck. She glanced up at me, questioningly, and I smiled softly back at her.

In a way, my brother had done me a favor. He had forced our hands towards our eternal lives together. Without his second of weakness, how long would we have gone not really being together, with Bella still human?

I took another second to take in the profile of my beloved, sitting next to me. Who I hoped would someday be my true and official partner.

A split second of hesitation has changed all our lives irrevocably forever. For better, or worse, it is too soon to tell. But, like we kept being reminded, the cards are already dealt, and all we can do is live our lives - for the rest of eternity, together.


End file.
